Unfortunately, he’s right, and we both know it. I don’t want to jeopardize anything between the packs because what we’re dealing with is more important than this bullshit, more important than us.
It’s only once we’re outside that I feel free to pound my fist against his back, and it isn’t only him I want to beat up. It’s me, or rather the part of me that doesn’t want to fight. Because I can’t pretend that slap on my ass didn’t turn me on all over again. I’m barely finished coming down from an orgasm, and already, I want more. It’s the sense of being out of control of my own body that makes me want to scream and break things, and he happens to be the closest thing to me right now, bouncing me along as he walks.
“Where are you taking me?” I demand, punching him again. I might as well be punching a brick wall.
He only chuckles. “Where do you think? Back to your room. The two of us have a lot of things to discuss—though if you don’t stop hitting me, I can’t promise I’ll be in any condition to talk. I happen to like it rough.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Keep saying that, and maybe you’ll be able to convince both of us that you mean it.”
There’s nothing for me to do but let this happen. Once we’re in my room, it’ll be different, but for now, there is no getting away from him. Not when he has such a tight grip on me.
I do my best to ignore the ripple of pleasure that ran up my spine when he talked about getting me in my room. No. This isn’t what I want. I don’t care what my wolf thinks, and I don’t care what Daniel, Dad, or anybody has to say about it. I’m not going to be claimed or mated, or any of the likes, at least not without having anything to say about it. I don’t want any of this.
Deep inside, a voice rings out, a voice full of certainty. Yes, you do. It’s my wolf. I know it instinctively. You do want that. But not by this wolf. He is not the one.
I don’t know what that means, and right now, I don’t care. Having my wolf was supposed to make my life easier. Less complicated. It was something I waited years for; watching other wolves find their purpose and meet their mates and feel like their lives meant something. That was supposed to happen for me, too.
So why is everything so much worse? Why did things have to get more complicated, not less? Heat races through me and the sudden urge to shift, and let my wolf loose is almost too tempting to resist.
And somehow, he knows. Because he’s in my head, the bastard. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he warns, taking me into the building and jogging up the stairs with me still bouncing on his shoulder.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stay out of my head.”
“But I do,” he informs me. “And I’m telling you to remember what’s at stake. You shift, you lose control? What will you end up sacrificing?”
I hate him as much, if not more, than everyone who made my life a living hell for so many years. Most of all, I hate him because I know he’s right, and he knows I know it, and that makes it worse.
Only once we’re back in my room does he set me on my feet. “Now, little wolf,” he grunts as he closes the door. “We’re going to settle a few things, you and me.”
14
WILDE
“Why are you doing this?”
Good question. One I wish I knew the answer to, but I don’t know why I carried her all this way over my shoulder. Why the idea of letting her get away from me is unthinkable. I don’t know why she was already on my mind before any of this happened and ever since I set eyes on her at the lake. I only know the idea of letting her go right now is unthinkable. Everything inside me rejects the thought.
Obviously, this is not something I can share with her. I don’t know if I could put it into words even if I tried. So I settle for threatening her, baring my teeth and growling softly, so she knows I’m not fucking around. “Because you and I have some things to get straight.”
“You and I have nothing to get straight,” she counters.
“Are you finished wasting my time? Because that’s all you’re doing, wasting my time and yours by denying what we both already know. I don’t know if you think you’re being brave or what this is all about, but let me tell you, from where I stand, you’re behaving like a petulant child.”