I spun away, fury choking my throat. When I could finally speak again, I couldn’t look at Milo.
“Get out.” I pointed to the door.
He sounded confused when he said, “But the babies will be up soon.”
I spun on him, so full of rage at him for his lack of remorse. “So you still don’t respect my right to choose? I said to get out of my sight! Out of my house! Now! I can’t stand to look at you!”
And then the emotion I couldn’t hold back anymore burst through and confused hormones turned the rage into sobs.
Janus caught me in his chest. He was the only one I could trust.
Distantly, I heard Milo’s footsteps echo on the concrete as finally, he left.
Chapter 23
MILO
I stumbled out the front door.
Going where, I had no idea.
If Hope didn’t want to see my face, well, I should get as far away from her as soon as possible, as quickly as possible. I’d betrayed her and lied to her. In her eyes, I was her father reincarnated.
And as someone with a parent who’d broken me, I knew there was no coming back from that.
I would have taken a car… but I didn’t own any of them.
Really nothing in that house was mine. Not really. Any money I had really belonged to the twins. I’d called them my brothers but we all knew that was… just another lie.
This day was always going to come. When someone finally realized I was… nothing but…
My mother’s son.
Emptiness struck at the realization. I’d always known. Deep down.
I was a monster too.
Walking down the hill as the wind started to blow felt like a good and right punishment. There were rare dark clouds overhead because of a tropical storm that had managed to come around this side of the coast.
I deserved to be punished and even the heavens knew it. Maybe I’d be struck down by lightning. I held out my arms as I walked down the long hill towards downtown LA.
I’d just been waiting. Tempting God for all my sins.
I’d been bad. So, so bad, I saw now. The devastation on Hope’s face when she realized what I’d done.
And even still, I was so bad I knew I’d never even truly regret what I’d done because of Diana and Paul, but at least I could bring myself to regret hurting Hope like that. I’m not sure half-repentance counted with God, though.
No, I was bound for hell. Especially knowing I’d made her feel like she was back at her Dad’s place, stripped of all power. That made me feel sick to my stomach.
It was unforgivable. Because I understood pain like that. Some cuts went too deep. Too deep even for understanding or words.
I stumbled and tripped on something. Oh shit—
I put my hands out but it barely broke my hard fall. And then because of the hill, I ended up rolling several feet before finally coming to a stop, staring at the sky. The first rain drops fell on my stinging, bloody face.
There was nothing to do except groan, get up, and keep walking. I turned onto side roads to snake my way down instead of continuing down the steep incline.
Everyone I passed barely looked at me. Dirty from the fall and with a bloody sleeve from wiping away the blood at my forehead, maybe I looked like another homeless guy. Or maybe they sensed I was already a ghost. Maybe I’d died back there, no lie.
I was Adam, cast out of paradise. Though at least he’d had Eve by his side, the lucky bastard.
But I’d never have anyone again.
I’d fucked up the only chance I’d ever have at family.
All I could do was put one foot in front of the other now.
I lost track of everything around me, of space and time, just walking, walking, one street feeding into another.
The sky got dark and the lights bright around me.
Downtown.
I kept walking.
My mind was the storm as people fled the rain that turned from a light drizzle into a downpour. I was soaked to the bone, my shoes little flooded boats.
I walked on.
Stopping only when a barrier stepped in front of me.
Shouting to be heard over the rain, “Give me your wallet, asshole.”
I looked up for the first time in… well, I didn’t know how long. The lights of downtown were long gone. It was dark here.
And I was surrounded by three big men, all who had knives out.
Chapter 24
LEANDER
I jogged up from the weight room, wanting to see Hope and the kids even though I needed to go pack my shit.
I’d gotten the first few scripts for this season of Gemini and they were better than ever. I think the writers had taken last year’s Emmy win as a challenge to do just as good or better this season. And from the material I was reading, they were doing it.