That got a little smile out of Hope. “It’s Janus.”
Makayla spun back around to look at me and her eyes narrowed. “Huh. How can you tell?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Hope said as she came forward, wearing one of those flowy, short summer dresses she’d taken to wearing around home lately. Apart from having her naked, I thought they were the sexiest damn thing I’d ever seen a woman in. They highlighted her belly, fat with our twins, but the length was mid-thigh so all you could think about every second she flounced here and there was tossing that little skirt up and—
“Janus?”
“Huh?” I tore my gaze from her knees to look at her face.
“I asked you a question.”
“Ask it again. I’ve been missing you, babe.”
She rolled her eyes. “You literally saw me earlier today.”
I laughed. Did she think that was nearly enough? I’d been fucking starving for her lately. Being on set constantly instead of with her was a peculiar sort of torture. Getting to chase one dream while being separated from the other. Or was she like everyone else and she thought all her time spent with Leander counted as time spent with me? I thought she of all people saw deeper, that our similarities stopped at skin deep.
Hope walked over to the door and exchanged places with Makayla.
But she still didn’t invite me in.
“Hope.” I leaned in, pressing my forehead against the small crack in the door the two women had allowed and asked with both my eyes and my voice. “Let me in?”
For a second her eyes softened, and she seemed like she was about to pull the door back to let me in. But just before she did her jaw hardened again.
“Why? So you can lie to me some more?”
“I never lied to you.” If I was vehement, it was only because I was furious that Lena had been able to make Hope doubt me.
“You didn’t tell me you went to juvie for Leander.”
My eyes dropped. “It wasn’t juvie. That’s just how our publicist spun it. I was charged as an adult. The judge thought I needed to learn a lesson.”
I heard Hope’s gasp. “But you were just a kid!”
I scoffed, still not able to forgive that asshole judge. Even as I understood that yes, I was privileged and it could easily have gone worse.
“So why the hell would you do that? Even for your brother. How many months did you spend… wherever you spent it?”
“Seven months. State prison here in California.” I heard the hardness in my voice. This was the most I’d spoken of it in years, and I could feel my teeth grinding and my nails digging into my palm from how hard I was balling my fists.
“Why?” Hope cried again, crossing her arms over her belly. “Tell me why.”
But I was already shaking my head. “It’s not my story to tell.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Hope’s arms fell to her sides and I could tell she was moving from sympathetic to pissed.
“I’m having these babies.” She clutched her belly with flat palms like it was a globe attached to her. Then she glared at me. “And whoever their father is won’t even be fucking honest with me. I told you no more secrets. How can I raise children with you—much less with a man who would allow his own brother to go to prison for him so he could go off and be a celebrity!”
“No,” I shook my head rapidly. “It wasn’t like that. He’d already had a couple of arrests and this would have been his third strike—”
“Oh great, so instead of facing the consequences of a drunken night out and crashing into a woman’s living room—which he was lucky nobody died during! But God forbid we not protect Leander from the consequences of his own actions,” Hope mocked.
“It wasn’t like that!” I said, a little more ardently than I meant to.
Hope stepped back, shaking her head.
“Can’t you just trust that I wouldn’t have done something so drastic without a good reason?”
She paused where she was, really catching my eyes. And I could tell she was considering what I was asking.
So I dared push through the door and into the apartment. Makayla had disappeared herself somewhere else in the suite, so at least I was only facing down one hostile woman right now, and the only one I cared about.
“Do you regret it?” she asked.
My eyes shut. She had no idea what she was asking. But that was the point. I wasn’t telling her. Still, I shook my head, even if my voice was raspy as I barked out a low, “No.”
She stared at me, obviously bewildered as I dared step closer. She didn’t flinch away when I reached to cup her face in my hands. For the first time since I’d heard of Lena’s heinous interference, my heartbeat calmed down.