I was hard as soon as I finished handing Apollo into her arms.
Hope noticed, naturally, and giggled as she waved me away with one arm while getting Apollo settled in to feed with the other.
Even though we’d certainly worked her body in the theater earlier, she looked fresher and less tired. Apparently it did a mommy good to get well-fucked.
“Get out of here, you dirty boy,” she hissed at me, a grin teasing at her lips as she looked unabashedly at my crotch.
Fuck, that made me even harder.
Apollo’s wails finally cut off as he found her nipple and started his meal. Hope winced as he really bit in. Those kids were relentless on her.
I bent down and kissed her on her forehead. “You’re doing great, Mama.”
“Thanks, Mi.”
My eyes closed as I paused a moment inhaling her warmth and the perfection of the moment. I felt so much love here. So much fullness.
And then a sting, knowing I might have fucked it all up. A thought that was followed by confusion. Because how could I have? What I’d done had made all this possible.
My conscience didn’t know what was right or wrong. Maybe I didn’t have one anymore. Maybe I was too far gone.
“I’ll let you guys have your time,” I said, turning away from her abruptly and leaving the room.
Chapter 21
JANUS
“Reshoots?” I asked over the phone as our agent chattered excitedly a couple months later. I looked over at where Milo was burping Apollo. He was humming in the baby’s ear and bouncing him up and down by the back window of the kitchen.
Hope was in the bedroom feeding Diana.
“You know, Leander’s leg is better,” I said to Victor. Leander was in the weight room right now on the treadmill.
“And you know that Gemini starts shooting tomorrow. But the studio needs you, Janus, on the Universal lot like yesterday for reshoots. The set designers recreated the Venice café and they need a Leander Mavros in makeup tomorrow morning at 4 a.m. And frankly, it’s you they worked with the whole movie and they don’t want any… different energy, at this point. They want you.”
I looked down at the floor.
Any other time in my life, I would’ve killed to hear this. That someone actually wanted me, the real me, instead of my brother? I didn’t care what it said on the marquee. It would be my face on screen. My talent. Leander was always the golden one and I was just… the spare.
Apollo let out a little cry and I looked over at him. Milo was trying to give him his binkie but he wasn’t having it. I couldn’t help smiling at my son. That kid. I could tell the kid was gonna be a stubborn, opinionated little shit, even though he was only four months old. He was so fucking amazing.
“Janus?”
I sighed and turned back to my phone call. “How exactly do you plan to explain Leander being in two places at one time?” I strode down the hallway a little ways so I wouldn’t be overheard.
“Explain to who? It’s not like the Gemini producers are on the same Discord as the movie folks. It’ll be fine. Besides, we’ll keep your name out of it.”
“How? Our publicity agent’s on maternity leave for another two months.”
“You know my agency’s covering it while your fiancé recovers. I would never let my best guys down.”
I laughed at that. “You’re just happy to get double the commission off of us now.”
Ty was the kind of guy who had an answer ready for everything. “They’re in post now for most of the film and from everything I’m hearing, the executives are very happy with your performance. They think this could be another blockbuster. Your performance really blew them out of the water. Isn’t it nice to know you still got it? And they want more! For these last reshoots.”
I rolled my eyes. I’d heard Ty give Leander this kind of bullshit hype in order to get him to do what he wanted his whole career. So I wasn’t sure if I should be insulted or honored that he was now giving me the same star treatment. Ty generally barely gave me the time of day.
Still, I hesitated. Did I want to go do those reshoots? Hell yeah, I did. But I also didn’t want to leave Hope and Milo alone with the kids, right as Leander was leaving for Vancouver to start filming Gemini again.
His flight took off in six hours. I’d be leaving Milo and Hope in a lurch.
Then again, usually there were only two parents around when normal people brought home a baby—or babies, in our case—from the hospital. And out of the four of us, Hope and Milo were the most equipped. Milo had endless patience for the munchkins. I was better than Leander, but still the lack of sleep was starting to get to me too. Hope was just a machine, never seeming too fatigued to do what needed to be done. I was constantly amazed by her. She was superwoman as far as I was concerned.