Ash stood next to him, looking bored by her friend, who was clearly trying to come on to him. I drank in his appearance. All tall, dark, and handsome with piercing blue eyes. He had on short-cut khaki shorts, a white button-up, rolled to his elbows, and boat shoes. The only boy I’d ever really wanted, and I was too scared to do a damn thing about it. I could conquer a stage in heels, but not tell the boy I liked that I liked him.
I turned my back on him and downed the drink quickly before ordering a second one. So much for not drinking, but, damn, I needed a little liquid courage. Marina was right. Tonight was the night.
I was on my third Sex on the Beach when the alcohol effects began to hit me. My legs were wobbly, and it was suddenly hot. I touched Marina’s arm and told her I was going to get some air. Then, I pushed through the crowd and out onto the back tiki-decorated patio. June in Georgia was always sweltering with intense humidity, but at least the patio had the river breeze. I tugged my long hair off of my sticky neck and pulled it up into a high ponytail.
“You doing okay?”
I turned, leaning back against the railing, to find that Ash had followed me outside. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“You were drinking those pretty fast.” He gestured to the empty Sex on the Beach in my hand.
“Maybe too fast,” I admitted.
“I thought you weren’t drinking.”
“What are you, my brother now?” I teased.
He moved to the railing next to me and leaned out toward the river. “I am definitely not.”
My body warmed at the way he’d said that. I set my cup down on the railing and mirrored his position. Our arms brushed against each other. Fireworks burst in my stomach. Just a year earlier, I never would have imagined we’d be standing this close together. I’d felt like a little kid while he was off at college. Now, here we were.
I turned to appreciate the sharp outline of his jaw and that beautiful face. He smiled and faced me.
“What?” he asked.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded.
His eyes dipped down to my lips again. They lingered a space longer than they had at the ball before returning to my eyes. “Mia, you were amazing today.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He leaned forward, brushing a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “I’m glad I was there to see it.”
His hand was still on the side of my face, tilting my head up to meet his eyes. I listed toward him. My entire life, I’d had this desperate, unrequited love pulsing through me. I’d always known that I’d never have Ash Talmadge. Two years older and my brother’s best friend. It would never happen. And right now, I was realizing that maybe I’d been wrong all along.
“Ash, I … I want this,” I whispered.
“This?” he asked as if he didn’t know.
“You.”
He should have pulled away. Remembered that Derek was his best friend. That he’d probably get punched for this if Derek ever found out.
Instead, he drew me closer.
“Fuck, Mia.”
And then I couldn’t wait any longer. Screw gender norms. I had waited long enough for him.
I stood on my tiptoes and pushed my lips against his. He startled for a split second. A horrible second where I thought he’d pull away. But then he relaxed, drawing an arm around my middle and tugging me tight into him. A squeak left my lips as I was pressed firmly against his chest. His head angled slightly, and then he opened my mouth with the brush of his tongue.
Another gasp escaped me as I let him in. Time moved in slow motion as my heart skyrocketed, my stomach catapulted, and everything went fuzzy at the edges.
I was kissing Ash Talmadge.
I was kissing Ash Talmadge!
“Oh,” I gasped as he pulled slightly back. Just far enough for our noses to brush. “Wow.”
He laughed softly. “Wow?”
“You … are a good kisser.”
He laughed, pushing his hands up to cup my face, and kissed me again. Ash took control in that kiss and ruined me for all other kisses. Because there was no way that anything could compare to this here with him. I could live in an eternity of just this moment.
When he released me this time, my eyes fluttered open, and I stared up into his baby blues, entranced. But his face had fallen. He sighed and put more distance between us.
“We probably shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Why?”
“You’re a little drunk.” I opened my mouth to deny it, but he continued, “And Derek would kill me.”
“So? I can handle Derek.”
I’d wanted this for so long. So, so long. This couldn’t be the end. I needed more. I needed everything. I wanted to beg for his love, but I knew that wouldn’t work. I’d seen time and time again before my mom had left that begging for anyone to want you was a ticking time bomb. My dad had still left for Kathy. Our life had still imploded. I’d never stoop so low.