“We’re still on for lunch?” I asked.
Ash’s gaze met mine, and there was a crack in the ice. Like I’d reached him somehow. He smiled at me and nodded. “Yeah. Lunch. I’ll come by the store.”
“Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Mia.”
It wasn’t until he was gone that we all blew out a breath.
Marley reached for me and pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry. I had no idea he was here.”
“Not your fault.”
Derek crossed his arms. “He should be able to hear her name.”
“He’s still not over her,” I announced.
“No,” Marley said. “Do we think he ever will be?”
Derek shrugged. “Maybe when Lila and Cole get married.”
“Is that happening soon?” I asked with wide eyes.
“I’m surprised it hasn’t already happened,” Marley said. “But I don’t have any idea what Cole is planning.”
“I’ll have to tell Ash when that happens,” Derek said with a grimace. “That will be a fun day.”
“He’ll be all right,” Marley said.
But I had doubts. Ash had come a long way from the alcoholic that I’d known after the wedding, but I wasn’t sure he’d ever be okay with Cole and Lila together. I’d hoped he’d be able to hear her name without disappearing. I’d hoped he’d moved on more than this. But I had just been kidding myself.
We could be friends, but nothing more. I wasn’t going to ever get my hopes up again.
20
Savannah
June 19, 2021
“Wait, what?” I demanded of my brother over the phone.
“Cole proposed to Lila.”
He’d called me while I was getting ready for Josie’s party to discuss our upcoming sailing trip. I’d been expecting that we’d divvy up who was bringing what … not this.
“Why are you telling me this? Does Ash know? We’re all going out tonight, Derek! I don’t keep secrets from him.”
Over the last six months, things had changed with me and Ash. We weren’t dating. I’d deny it to my grave, and Josie had basically asked me enough to make me feel like I might have to defend it that far. But we’d started to hang out all the time. We did lunch at least once a week. We went to the beach sometimes. We started going out with mutual friends. We’d gone to a party at the start of the summer, where I met my childhood star crush. Ash had kept his arm around me half the night. And still … we weren’t dating. Even if all signs pointed toward that.
Now, this?
Right when everything was going so well.
“I’m going to tell him after we sail up to Charleston.”
Derek, Ash, Marina, and I were all going to get on Derek’s boat and sail up the Intercoastal Waterway. It was our big planned trip. We’d been talking about it forever. How was I supposed to be with Ash for that much time and not have him know something was off?
I put my head in my hand. “Oh my God, you told me before we go sailing. We’re all going to be on the boat for three days together. Why did you do this to me?”
Derek sighed. “Just keep it together. It’ll be fine. I’ve known for weeks.”
“Weeks?” I squeaked. “And you didn’t tell him?”
“None of us even want him to know.”
“None of us? Who knows?”
Derek groaned. “Well, me, Mars, Josie, and Maddox were all there when it happened.”
“Josie knows? Jesus. We’re going to her party tonight.”
“I know. I know. Just don’t say anything. What the fuck is he going to do if he finds out? Is he going to show up at their wedding?”
I froze at those words. I hadn’t even gotten that far. I’d just been worried about him spiraling again. “Fuck.”
“Exactly.”
Fucking fuck.
“I hate you right now,” I grumbled.
“But you won’t say anything?”
“No.”
And I hated agreeing with every fiber of my being.
I should have told Ash when he came to pick me and Marina up for the party. I was nervous, keeping things from him. I’d never done it before. I’d always been the only one who told him the truth. Fuck.
But I’d promised Derek. So, I reached for a pageant smile and got in his car and headed to the venue. It was the wrap party for Josie’s Academy movie. Ash had reserved the space for her on River Street. It was surprising that they were getting along when I’d only ever seen some sort of general animosity between them.
Ash seemed happier than normal when we reached the party. He put an arm around my waist and walked onto the rooftop bar with me. I wasn’t his date … but I wasn’t not his date. The whole thing hadn’t been confusing. Now, I wasn’t entirely sure where we stood.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Fine.”
“You seem jumpy.”
I flashed him a smile. “Just happy for Josie and Maddox.”
“They look happy,” he agreed, seeing my friend and her boyfriend across the room.
“I’ll invite them to sit with us.”