I stand in the shower and allow the hot water to roll over my tense muscles to try to settle my nerves, but it doesn’t seem like enough. The weight of the day still sits heavy on my chest. Once I’m done and dressed, I head downstairs to the kitchen and pull a beer from the fridge. Plopping down on the chair, I see the three of them turn and stare at me, but I focus on the TV, as usual.
“Well, hello to you, too,” Maddie chides in her snarky tone, which causes me to roll my eyes.
“Why are you always here?” I ask sharply. “Don’t you have some dance routine to learn or something?”
She laughs sarcastically. “Wow, good one. Maybe you should’ve been a comedian with all the jokes you have.”
“Perhaps it’s time for you two to start paying rent since you’re here basically every day,” I throw back at her, glancing at Sophie, who’s scowling at me. I notice how she’s chewing on the side of her cheek, probably so she doesn’t tell my ass off, but considering the way I’m treating them, I deserve it.
But damn, she looks good enough to fuckin’ eat right now.
I expect them to make a smartass comment about how I give them whiplash with my mood swings, but neither of them do. They’d be right, of course. Being so close to Sophie, smelling her in my house long after she’s gone, fucks with my head. I’m constantly reminding myself that she doesn’t deserve my wrath, so I purposely keep my distance. It’s for her own good.
“Maybe I should move in, considering your third bedroom is available now that your mysterious roommate has moved out,” Maddie singsongs. The girl is relentless.
“I’d move out before either of you could move in.” I take a swig of my beer and try to ignore them.
“What the hell is your problem?” Liam barks. I can tell he’s pissed by the way I’m acting, but I kinda don’t give two shits about it. Instead of arguing with him, I finish my beer, then go grab another one. While I’m twisting the top, I overhear Maddie chatting with Sophie.
“Have you gotten any more messages on your dating app?”
The question freezes me in my tracks. Why the fuck is she on a dating app? Sophie doesn’t need that. Nothing but perverts and manwhores hang out on those. I toss the cap in the trash and then pull the bottle of tequila from the cabinet. Without even bothering to pour it in a shot glass, I take a swig. This day just keeps getting better.
“I haven’t really been paying attention to it, honestly. Most of them are weird as hell,” she admits, and it makes me grin. How fucking selfish am I? A part of me feels as if I’ve pushed her to this because I’ve refused to give her a chance even though it’s for her own benefit. If only I could look outside my own bullshit, but I don’t like me very much, so why would I expect her to? Sophie needs a man who doesn’t have issues—someone who can love her unconditionally, wholeheartedly—and right now, I can’t be that man. I don’t know if I’ll ever be.
Once the alcohol swarms through me, I walk back to the living room and try not to pay attention to anything they’re saying about dates and guys. I focus on the TV I can’t hear because they’re being way too loud. Though I have questions, I keep them to myself, not wanting to act like a jealous ex or something.
Maddie’s voice lowers. “I think you should go for it. You’re hot as hell.” Her voice grows louder as she continues. “There’s bound to be someone out there for you who isn’t afraid to commit.”
I feel as if it’s a direct jab toward me, which I’d more than deserve. Sophie promised she’d keep what happened between us, but I often wonder if her sisters know. Especially by the way Maddie’s staring at me right now.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I ask because I wasn’t paying attention. I’d zoned out again.
“I asked if you were on a dating app too?” Maddie smirks, knowing damn well I’m not.
A roar of laughter escapes from Liam, and all I can do is flip him off.
I narrow my eyes at him and scoff. “Too many people have herpes on those apps. Don’t want my dick to fall off.”
A blush hits Sophie’s cheeks, and I wish I could tell her about the way I’ve felt since the moment I laid eyes on her. I wish I could speak candidly and put it all out on the line, but in the end, I know I’d just hurt her. It’s who I am, and she deserves better. She sure as fuck deserves better than some dude on Tinder too. I drink my beer, feeling the alcohol flow through my veins while the ceiling seems to close in on me.