I check the time and realize I need to leave now if I’m going to be on time for lunch. My father doesn’t tolerate tardiness from anyone, especially not his own son. While I hate the country club and everything it stands for, he insisted I meet him there to eat. Probably so he could brag and rub elbows with all the politicians and elected officials. It’s actually disgusting how fake they are to each other, considering they’d all climb the backs of their colleagues to get to the top. Nothing like a fifty dollar plate of shitty shrimp and booze to make a person feel elite.
While I drive across town, I think about my dad. I haven’t seen him in a few months, using school and work as an excuse. Now that those two things have ended, he knew I couldn’t say no even though I wanted to. Each time we get together, he reminds me of how much of a disappointment I am for not following in his footsteps and going to law school. At one point, I considered it, but after seeing how much his job took over his life, I knew it wasn’t for me. Being the district attorney always took priority over our family, no matter the occasion, and when worked called, he’d bail. I promised myself I’d never put my career over my wife and kids, if I ever have those things. Deep down, a part of me feels like I don’t deserve to be happy. I had happiness once and wishing for it again would be selfish.
The country club is set off in the distance on a beautiful golf course. If I were just an outsider looking in and didn’t know anything about the members who frequented it, I’d probably think it was paradise. It’s far from it. Before I get out of the truck, I sit in the parking lot and give myself a pep talk. No matter what my father says today, I’m not going to lose my cool. I repeat it a few times.
I walk inside and am greeted by a few people who know my dad. “Mr. Holt, welcome back.”
The last time I was here was over a year ago, so I’m almost impressed that they remember who I am. Then again, it’s impossible not to know who my father is, and I’m the spitting image of him. I smile politely and catch sight of my dad sitting at a table across the room. The years have been good to him even though I can’t say he deserves it much.
“Mason,” he calls out with a fake smile as soon as he sees me.
Heads turn toward me, and I feel like that embarrassed kid again. He loves attention, but I can’t say I do.
“Hey, Dad,” I say, sitting across from him at the table.
He snaps his fingers, and the waiter immediately comes over to take my drink order. I look down at his glass of bourbon and get one too, because I’m probably going to need it. Awkwardness floats between us when he answers his cell phone and begins talking to his wife. It takes everything I have not to roll my eyes, and I’m thankful when my whiskey arrives.
“I really don’t have time to talk about this right now, Hallie. I’m having lunch with Mason.” He shakes his head, growing more frustrated with her. “We’ll discuss it when I get home,” he says between gritted teeth. After he ends the call, he looks at me and shrugs. Seems as if he treats her like a child too, but it could be because she’s only four years older than me. The whole situation is fucked up.
“Women,” he says with a chuckle as if I’m one of his golfing buddies.
“Hmm.” I take another sip, wishing the alcohol would kick in sooner because I don’t want to discuss her. The thought of Hallie has always left a bad taste in my mouth, especially considering how they got together. Being the new attractive fresh out of college secretary for the DA really worked in her gold-digging favor. After an affair and a pregnancy announcement from her, he left my mother high and dry with nothing but resentment and a paid-off house. A year after the divorce, she threatened to fight him in court for half of his shit, and since he didn’t want the negative attention, he caved and paid her off. Like he does everyone.
I haven’t fully forgiven him for what he did. My mother is the strongest and smartest woman on the planet and was there for me when I had no one and when I felt the most alone. She’s my biggest supporter, and when everything happened with my previous girlfriend, Emma, she kept me sane. My father was too busy pointing fingers and covering possible scandals because he’s only ever concerned about number one—himself.