17
FAITH
“Faith.”Blade’s voice is cautious, with a hint of warning. Like he thinks I might freak out and run. He’s not half wrong.
The video cuts off, leaving only static on the screen, but I keep staring, waiting for a rational explanation to come out of it. I don’t know what could make this better, but I keep hoping.
Dad’s… well, he’s never been a good guy. I know that. Rough, dangerous, not afraid to defend what he cares about, sure, but a straight up murderer? I’d never thought that.
“Faith…”
“Did you know this?” I whirl on Blade. “Did you know what was on the tape?”
“Fuck no.”
“But you warned me. You suspected. Did you know that Dad did this? Has he done this a lot? This wasn’t self-defense. Those guys were on the ground. Dad was there to kill them.” My voice is getting tighter and louder with every word.
Blade pushes himself to his feet to tower over me. “I didn’t know what was on the tape, but I knew it wasn’t fucking cotton candy and teddy bears. He’s not clean. None of us are. You think this is bad? You don’t know shit.”
“Dadkilledthose guys.”
“And you don’t know the reason. Maybe it was necessary. Sometimes these things are.” Blade’s expression is completely shut down. “Ripper and Alpha? You fucking saw them shoot people and still let them touch you. Hypocrite.”
I jerk back. “That was different. This wasn’t self-defense. Those guys were beaten. Down. He executed them, and from the look of it, that was why he was there to begin with.”
“They probably deserved it,” Blade growls. “You and him don’t talk much these days, but you grew up with him. Fucking think about it. Is he the kind of psychopath you’re making him out to be? You fucking know him better than that.”
“Do I?” The truth sticks deep. “I thought I did, but I was a kid back when we lived together. How am I supposed to know how he’s changed? Maybe that’s what he does now.”
“It’s a fuckingvideotape. Who knows how old this shit is? This could be from before you were fucking born for all I know. Jesus Christ, think.” Blade’s eyes flash. His jaw is tight and he’s pacing like a trapped lion.
“I am. Maybe I’m thinking for the first time. There was a lot I didn’t see back then. Are you saying I should just accept you’re all murderers?” My chest hurts. I don’t even believe everything that’s coming out of my mouth, but hackles are up.
I just watched Dad kill two people in cold blood. My father.
Blade’s face locks down. His blue eyes are flat, like bottomless, windstill oceans. Peaceful but deadly. The straight line of his mouth is narrow and tight. The last time I saw him like this was when he buried his knives in the chest of the men who came for me.
“I need air,” he says in a voice cold as a grave. He kicks Ripper’s bed. “You’re up.” Two steps later, he’s outside, the door slammed behind him.
Why does he not understand how big a deal this is? What if… What if Dad killing those men is why Mom and I got attacked? Was it his fault all along?
“What the fuck’s going on?” asks a sleep-slurred voice behind me. Ripper’s up on one elbow, the blanket slid down to reveal his broad, inked chest. “Where’s he going?”
Alpha rolls over. His steely eyes rake over me in a way that reminds me that my bra is still drying on the chair in the corner. “You okay?” His voice is rough and deep from sleep.
“No.” I shiver, the anger running out of me until I’m left feeling drained. Helpless. Cold. “I saw what was on the tape and I’m not sure I want to go to the clubhouse anymore.”
“It’s where you’ll be safest.” Alpha sits up, his blanket dipping low enough that I’m sure he’s not wearing anything. “We’re taking you there.”
I shake my head, struggling to find the words. They didn’t see what I saw. “I can’t. Not yet. Don’t make me talk about it.”
“Come here.” It’s Ripper. He’s sitting up and has his arms open for me to fall into. “Come.”
I only hesitate for a moment. I can still feel his arms around me from this morning, and I want that back. The warmth, the coziness, the ignorant bliss. He pulls me into his lap and presses my face against his chest before he lies down on the bed, taking me with him. Then he kisses the top of my head. He backs up to the wall, making room so Alpha can join us. The mattress sinks as he climbs in behind me.
I’m surrounded.
Ripper runs his rough fingers up my side, slipping them underneath my shirt as Alpha puts his hand on my thigh.