Ha ha.Sofunny.
Exhaling, Hammer dropped every single piece of clothing, itching to feel warm water cascade down his skin to wash off not only the sweat and grime of the day but also the worries growing alongside all the good things Dex brought into his life.
What if he was overcommitting to the kid? They might have knownofeach other for a while, but the first time they spoke was just over two weeks ago, on the day when Hammer had abducted Dex. And now suddenly Hammer only had eyes for a man, took him on as an apprentice, and vouched for him despite knowing how chaotic Dex was.
He’d even fucking established arelationshipwith him just because he needed to make sure no one else got a slice of Dex without his permission. And what if this was all a fleeting fancy, and they’d end up stuck together due to circumstances?
He wasn’t usually this reckless, yet the moment Dex seemed to lose interest in him, Hammer ran back to him like a good dog and did what the kid had wanted all along.
He’d have to assess this somehow, both in terms of the club and his own feelings, which were hard to digest at the best of times, let alone when his life was in such turmoil.
He put his head under the warm water to silence the buzz in his mind. Thinking was difficult with Dex around, because his mouth rarely closed, which led to Hammer needing to divide his attention.
This shower was his opportunity to gather his thoughts.
So Dex was a guy. He was always horny, seemed confident but his meltdowns and eagerness to please, were signs of low self-esteem. While Hammer loved the worship he got from the kid at every step, he needed to make sure Dex didn’t violate his own boundaries or neglect himself to make him happy. Other than those few points and his over the top nature, Dex was easygoing and accepted Hammer’s every quirk. He was also very sex and food motivated and therefore easy to handle.
But analyzing Dex was one thing, figuring out his own attitude, another.
How didHammerfeel about all the tender gestures? His body was at ease with them, maybe evenlongedfor the hugs and kisses which Dex so freely offered. Hammer still wanted to wreck Dex, slap him, and bruise him in sex, but that was a different dimension of their… relationship.
Wouldother thingsappear in that sphere too? Things he’d never done with women, since they didn’t have the right equipment for it?
He soaped up, lost in thoughts about Dex’s cock. He’d enjoyed touching it, but how would he feel about having it in his mouth? The idea didn’t provoke immediate revulsion, though the process of learning how to handle a dick might be full of embarrassment. It wasn’t like he was a pussy-eating connoisseur either, but he enjoyed it well enough for the effect it had on his lovers. Would it be the same with a man?
A part of him worried crossing yet another boundary might permanently change who he was, but wasn’t that what had stopped him from having sex with men for so long? The past two weeks had already proven he’d been holding back for no reason.
Anger was a hot stone inside his gut when he thought of all the missed opportunities, when he had been propositioned in one way or another and refused just because of a mental barrier that had no real reason to be there in the first place. It was the superego trying to impose social expectations, and since when did he obey the rules simply because they were in place?
He liked to see Dex lose his mind in pleasure. So why wouldn’t he suck him off when it wasan action, and therefore couldn’t change anything about Hammer’s personality? He would not let prejudice rule over him. People experimented all the time.
Washing his hair with furious strokes over the scalp, he thought back to Dex licking his nipple as though it was no big deal. Maybe it really wasn’t. Maybe he should relax about the kind of sex he wasallowedas a masculine man and open up to other kinds of pleasure?
Stilling in the rain of hot water, he remembered Dex looking at him intensely and declaring how much he wanted to rim him. Would Hammer be open to that too? To lie back and let someone touch his asshole? What if he liked it?
What then?Hammer’s angry mind interjected.You’re not gonna have fun because you’re scared what might happen if you feel like having something push in?
It was all beyond ridiculous.Hewas ridiculous.
Wasn’t he supposed to be a badass who took what he wanted? Nobody said that couldn’t include getting rimmed and giving blowjobs.
He delved his fingers between his buttocks, like he did when cleaning himself, but instead of making his movements utilitarian, he let the digits linger and even ran his fingertip over his hole.
Sensitive.
He could imagine it feeling good when a warm, slippery tongue caressed him down there. It didn’t necessarily mean that he wanted to be fucked, but it was no one’s but his and Dex’s business what they did behind closed doors anyway.
He took his time, tickling the skin outside his hole, but eventually one soap-slicked finger went in, making him stiffen in a strange mixture of arousal and worry. But if he was to agree to Dex’s offer, that place needed to be as pristine as he could get it. His entrance stung a bit from rubbing by the time he’d finished.
With the fire of his decisions burning in his gut, he turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and stormed outside, wrapping the fabric around his hips.
He stalled at the sight of Dex lounging naked on the bed with several small plastic wrappers around him, and watching TV. He met Hammer’s gaze with wide eyes that suggested he might be embarrassed that he was caught jerking off. But instead of covering himself, he stuffed a muffin into his mouth with one hand and lazily stroked his dick.
“There’s more, I didn’t eat them all!” he said with his mouth full.
But Hammer could still only think about one thing, so he approached Dex, feeling the world burn around him. “I want to suck you off.”
Chapter 23 – Hammer