“Do what? We’re staying the night,” he said and reached for the helmet, eager to help Dex out.
The boy stepped back. “Check in or whatever. I’m sorry. Again. That I won’t have cash until we get b-back.”
Hammer stared at him, increasingly unsettled by this confusing situation. Was there something going on that he couldn’t recognize? Would be far from the first time. “I don’t get it.”
And as if attempting to make him even more confused, Dex started walking along the hotel parking lot as if he had places to be.
Hammer moved after him without thinking. “Where are you going? Dex?”Fuck.This was surely about his parents’ behavior. Was Dex angry that Hammer hadn’t warned him about them? “Look, I’m sorry. I assumed they’d be politer.”
“They were f-fine. I just need to piss, so leave me alone!” Dex said and sped up.
This was fucking ridiculous. Was Dex smiling or snarling behind the damn visor?
Losing his patience, Hammer grabbed Dex’s arms before the kid could start trotting and plucked the helmet off the blond head. “Just do it inside!”
Dex tried to grab the helmet, but Hammer held it out of reach. His anger turned into stunned silence when he saw tears streaking down Dex’s face. “I’m not crying, okay? I’ve got allergies!” He sniffed and rubbed his face with his sleeve.
“W-why are you crying?” Hammer uttered, put in a spot he hadn’t expected to be in. How did one even console a crying man? Last time Dex had sobbed for a reason different than a good dicking or hard spanking had been when he got that stupid cut on his cheek and panicked. But while that reaction had been more like a childish fit of uncontrolled emotions than anything else, thisone seemed different.
Dex gasped for air but the tears kept coming. “Because I ruined everything! Like I always do. I can see it now. Why did I think it was a good idea to show off the gun? Why did I mention the stupid fucking condoms? We don’t even use them! I spoiled your chance with your parents, because I always spoil things. They could see right through me and noticed what a loser I am in an instant.”
Hammer rolled the helmet in his hands, happy to have something to do while his chest felt ever heavier. “What are you talking about? I left home without a word ten years ago. You had nothing to do with me and them falling out.”
“Yeah, but I could have made it better. You could have been dating some, I dunno, hot violinist who ‘challenges you intellectually’ and knows how to eat the fucking pasta correctly!” He sniffed and sobbed, as if he were on the verge of a serious breakdown, and for what? Hammer’s parents? They weren’t worth this much anguish.
“I don’t want to date a violinist!” Hammer protested, but when it bore no effect, he grabbed Dex’s arm and spun him around until he could see the tears on the handsome face more clearly. “I like bikes, and guns, and horrors, and I never was what they wanted me to be. This is why they went ahead and made abetterversion of me. But they don’t know you at all and don’t see how great you are.”
The big brown eyes glowed red from the neon light, but settled on Hammer without ever blinking. “I’m a violent mess who likes sex too much and doesn’t have a proper job,” he said quietly, but something seemed to be sinking in. If Dex was needy for more affirmation, then Hammer could give it to him.
“Neither do I! I move drugs and smash people with a sledgehammer! Look at me,” Hammer said, pulling on the front of his jacket as the world blurred, leaving him focused on the tear-stricken face in front of him. He often didn’t know how to react to people’s frustration and sadness, but this time he wasn’t the cause of it, and it would kill him if he were. “My own club brothers decided I was bad news after one accusation, butyousee me like no one else does. You’re this sunshine that melts every bit of ice. Even me.”
A little smile growing somewhere on Dex’s reddened face was like a taste of sweetness after downing a bottle of castor oil. Dex stepped closer and after a moment of hesitation, put his good arm around Hammer. “I like every bit of you.”
They’d hugged many times before, but usually in some sexual context. Or when sleeping.Thiswas different. The kind of affection men rarely shared. Dex wanted to be close to him, and Hammer took several moments to relax into it. Resting his chin on the top of Dex’s head, he took a whiff of the blond hair and embraced him after checking whether the parking lot really was empty.
“Why?” he found himself asking, because nobody would act the way Dex did just because of Hammer’s looks and good sex. Those always only took him so far.
“You don’t… block me from being myself.” Dex took a deep breath against Hammer’s shoulder, and having the ability to calm Dex down felt like a superpower. “I don’t have to censor myself around you, because you’re different from me, and yetjustlike me. Most people tell me to stop being myself in one way or another. You don’t, even though you’re so much smarter than me, more confident and collected, you make me feel like… I’m not a nuisance.”
Hammer swallowed, surprised by how good it felt to hear such things. He tightened his arms around Dex and spoke, “I think the same about you. You take me as I am, without any drama. And you’re not weirded out by the things I do, because you understand,” he said, pulling back to meet the brown eyes that made his heart beat faster.
Dex snorted, and it was such a relief to see him cheer up. “You sure? Seems to me I cause drama everywhere I go.”
“That’s because people have high expectations of others. You never go in trying to make the situation messy, and you never seek out problems. I like that about you.”
Dex gasped and his eyes widened. “Youdoget me! It’s so true. I have good intentions most of the time. That’s why it hurts so much when things backfire. Like, of course I tried to get into your pants because I thought you were hot, cool, and dangerous, but you’re so much more to me now. I found something in you that I didn’t even know I needed. I thought this dark thing inside of me was something meant for me to experience on my own, but now I can share it with you. I guess that’s why I freaked out when I thought I could lose you over the stupid decision to see your parents. I wanted to be the one who helped you reconcile with them, because then I’d be important to you.”
Hammer stilled. What was Dex saying? “‘Important’?”
Dex ran his fingers through his hair with a groan. “Yeah. I wanna attach myself to you like some fucking barnacle.”
Hammer smirked and pulled up Dex’s chin with his index finger as warmth spread in his cold chest. “I think we already defined our relationship at the diner yesterday.”
“Sorry for this meltdown. I can’t control it sometimes.”
Hammer shrugged and stroked Dex’s cheekbones with his thumbs, leaning closer. “I also have many, many flaws and you still seem to enjoy my company.”
Dex chuckled, hugging Hammer and petting his back. “You say the funniest things sometimes.”