“You’re not trying to get the money, Daddy.” I’m on the verge of crying, but if I let him see tears then this is all over, he’ll shut down so fast. I try to hold on but this is killing me. “Don’t lie anymore. You’re not trying to get money, you’re trying to run.”
He’s quiet for a long moment then slowly stands up. “You don’t know what thefuckyou’re talking about.”
“Russia, Daddy? Really? You think you’ll be safer there than you will be in prison here? Your life will be over the second you leave the country and you can never, ever come back, and you’d better pray the Russians decide to treat you well because you won’t have any other options. This is crazy, just please, we’ll find you new lawyers, we’ll do whatever—”
“No,” he says, tone icy. “I’m done with this. I’m done with you. God, Brice, how many times do I have to tell you that you’re an empty, pointless little girl before you get it?”
“Watch your mouth,” Carmine rumbles, but I hold up a hand and put it on his chest to steady him. Tears roll down my cheeks but I feel calmer than I ever have before. Finally, my world crystallizes and everything is clear.
“You’re wrong,” I say, looking back at my father. “Rowes do what’s right.That’s what you taught me, isn’t it? Do you really think you’re living up to the family’s ideals?”
“The family’s ideals don’t mean a damn thing. That’s just some silly phrase. Don’t be a child, Brice.”
“You’ve been sheltered in this family for a really long time and you don’t even know what it’s like to have a normal life anymore. Do you even have any friends? Do you even know whatrightmeans anymore?”
“I have plenty,” he says, sneering at me. “And right means whatever I want it to.”
I shake my head sadly. “No, I think you’ve forgotten what it’s like to care about someone if you ever knew to begin with.” I take a shuddering breath and steady myself. “You need to stop what you’re doing or I’m going to make you stop. This is your last warning. I love you, Dad, but I’m finished.”
“You’re threatening me now?” He laughs like he’s genuinely amused. “That’s a first. Meek little Brice, threatening me. I guess that’s what happens when you sell yourself to a mobster like some cheap whore.”
Carmine surges past me with a snarl. Daddy yelps and back away as Carmine grabs the edge of the table and hurls it into the pool, knocking the chairs over, and scattering the umbrella. The laptop hits the concrete, bounces twice, and ends up in the water, sinking down to the bottom as bubbles rush to the surface.
“My computer!” Dad runs to the edge of the pool. “You ruined my fucking computer and I was in the middle of something important, you overgrown fucking—”
Carmine shoves a finger in Dad’s face. “Finish that thought and I’ll drown you. Apologize to your daughter.”
“Go to hell, you ape.”
“Carmine.” I grab his arm and pull him back. “Enough. Please.”
Daddy strips off his shoes, shirt, and pants, and jumps in wearing only his underwear. He comes up with his laptop, whispering to himself, and tries to shake it dry as he yanks his clothes back on. “You really fucked up now,” he says over and over. “You really, really fucked up.”
I watch and my heart finally breaks. Carmine stays by my side, holding my hand, as my father clutches his laptop to his chest and hurries up to the house. We watch him go in silence and the tears keep spilling down my face but I’m not sobbing, I’m not crying, I’m not out of control.
I’m only mourning the loss of my old life.
Rowes do what’s right.
It was always a lie.
“Text him,” I say.
“Are you sure?” Carmine squeezes my hand.
“I’m sure. Text him.”
Carmine kisses me gently and I want to linger in that kiss forever, but he pulls back and takes out his phone.
Daddy is dead. He’s too far gone to salvage, and this family is a nightmare, a toxic nightmare I’m afraid I’ll never wake up from. If they don’t know what it means to do the hard thing then I’ll be the grownup here.
I want to escape and get as far away from here as possible, and there’s only one person in the entire world I want to be with now.
“It’s done,” he says.
I stand on my toes and press my lips to his and drink him in. We hold that kiss for a while and I let myself indulge the pleasure of this man, this stupid, asshole man, this man that I want so much it hurts.
“I love you,” I whisper.