“Stop it.” He slams his palm down onto the metal table with a clang. He’s staring at me, seething, breathing hard. “I will not be second-guessed by a child. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m a child?” I laugh at the absurdity of the idea. “You married me off to a stranger. I was old enough to be sold to a freaking gangster, and now you’re saying I’m a child? Daddy, whatever you’re doing, please stop, I’m begging you. Stop now before it’s too late. Before you dig an even deeper hole.”
He stands, leaning forward on the table. “You will shut your mouth, Brice, do you hear me?” He snarls at me like an animal. “You stupid, spoiled little child, you don’t know a damn thing. You float through life like money and power just appear out of thin air while I’ve been bleeding myself dry for this family since the day I was born. I don’t want to hear you crying about being engaged to Carmine anymore, that was the least you can do for this family, since you’re so hell-bent on being useless otherwise. Do you even realize that you’re a drain on everyone, Brice? You’re nothing and you should be thanking me for giving you the opportunity to contribute. Now, go back inside, I have work to do. This conversation is over.”
Daddy sits back down, flips open his lid, and pounds on the keyboard.
I stand, legs numb and shaking, and let his words sink in.
I always knew he felt that way. He never said it out loud before, but I always knew, even when I was a little girl.
I’m useless.
I’m nothing but a burden according to him.
Marrying Carmine was all I’ll ever be good for, and I couldn’t even do that.
My own father thinks I’m a spoiled, worthless piece of trash, and even if he smiles at me and pretends like he loves me, I’ll always know what he really thinks.
That when things get difficult, I don’t matter.
He’d rather drown me than inconvenience himself.
I turn and walk woodenly back into the house. My emotions are a mess and I’m too numb and angry to cry. Daddy’s doing something stupid and even though he thinks I’m a moron that doesn’t know anything, even I can see that he’s going to make everything so much worse. The Panagos might not be trying to kill us now, but once they realize that Daddy’s never going to pay them, that Daddy’s only going to lose more of their money if they let him, then they’ll come after everyone. Not just me, not just Daddy, but all the Rowes. They’ll wipe us out.
Dad has no clue.
I find Grandpa in his study. He’s reading a file and rubbing his temple. I don’t bother knocking. I’m so flustered and beyond formalities now. I walk up to his desk and stand there until he glances up at me with a frown, and I put my hands on my hips and stare down at him as all the pent-up anger I’ve been pushing down inside for the last twenty-six years of my life.
“I need you to pay the Panagos back. I don’t care how you do it. I don’t care if you need to drain whatever’s left in my trust. Pay them back and stop my father from making things worse.”
Grandpa blinks at me and takes off his glasses. “I’m sorry, Brice, what’s going on?”
“Daddy’s doing something again. I don’t know what, but it’s not good, and I need you to pay the Panagos back before my father makes everything worse. Please.”
He rubs his face and nods. “Okay, that’s a good thought, but here’s the thing. I already paid them back.”
My eyebrows go straight up. “You did?”
“Well, I didn’t. Carmine did.”
I take a step backwards. “When?”
“I got confirmation from our lawyer—” He glances at his watch. “Two days ago.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
He looks genuinely confused and laughs. “Why would I? Brice, are you okay?”
I turn and leave. I stumble out the door and lean against the wall, catching my breath. Daddy’s doing something stupid. Grandpa’s not telling me important things. Everyone’s cutting me out and suddenly it’s so clear that I’m not wanted here, not needed here, and I might as well toss myself off a bridge for all anyone cares.
Anyone but Carmine.
He’s the only person to ever really see me. And not just thefilthy girlstuff, but the real stuff. The way he kissed me and held my hand. The way he teased me and made me laugh and pissed me off beyond belief. The way he pushed me and treated me like an actual human being instead of a barely tolerated burden.
And now Carmine’s the only one doing the important things and saving me yet again.
I don’t know why.