Lennox laughed under his breath. “Auden, the golden boy. I remember that version of him. He showed up here freshman year with the sparkle still on him.”
Auden grimaced. “Not golden. Just clueless.”
She looked between the two of them, some silent exchange going on. “That’s what y’all think I am, isn’t it? Clueless.”
“Nah,” Lennox said. “There’s a difference between clueless and sheltered. You had no control over the sheltered part. The fact that you’re here at a school your family doesn’t want you at, hanging out with someone like me who I’m sure they wouldn’t approve of, and watching dirty movies with us even though that was probably a stretch for you proves that you’re pretty damn brave.” He glanced at Auden. “So was Auden. Still is.”
She hugged the pillow to her chest. “Thanks. I don’t feel brave. I just feel…overwhelmed more than anything else. Other people get to ease into adult life. They get to make some decisions in high school, get more freedom, get to practice being independent. Get after-school jobs and go on dates and stay out too late or drink too much and learn from it. I didn’t get any practice tests. I’m doing it…all at once. All on my own. With no study guide. I don’t know how to get an A in this class.”
“Hey.” Auden reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “You’re not all alone. I know I freaked out a little tonight, but you’ve got me in your corner.”
“And me too,” Lennox said.
“Plus, you don’t have to get an A at this,” Auden went on. “No one does. You’re going to screw up. That’s part of the process. And so what if you’re going through that process a little later than other people? You’re nineteen. When you’re thirty, it’s not going to make a difference if your first date was when you were fourteen or when you were twenty. No one will care.”
“I guess not,” she said, looking down at the pillow.
“All I care about, at least when it comes to the guys and the drinking and stuff,” Auden said, “is that you’re careful. You end up on a date with someone and you get a bad vibe from them, you call me. Or Len. You drink too much at a party and need a ride, call us.”
“Thanks,” she said quietly.
“You want to see if counter sex is all it’s cracked up to be,” Lennox interjected. “Call me.”
Her head snapped up, and a breath caught in her throat.
“Len,what the hell?” Auden said, shooting him an angry look.
Lennox lifted his palms. “I’m just saying.” He looked to O’Neal, gaze gentle. “Sweets, I would never make a move on you without your permission.”
Her heart was in her throat, pounding.
“But if your first experiences are messing around with freshman boys, it’s going to be a shit show. They don’t know what they’re doing yet,” he said with a matter-of-fact tone. “You’ll end up giving your V-card to some three-pump chump who has no idea how to make you feel good. You’ll be left wondering what all the fuss is about.” He shrugged. “I could show you the fuss.”
A flood of prickly heat washed over her, and she couldn’t determine if that was embarrassment or pure, unfiltered lust. She squeezed her thighs together.
“Or Auden could,” he added with a smile. “I’ve…heard he’s pretty good at the fuss too.”
“Oh my God,stop,” Auden said, lacing his fingers behind his neck and squeezing. “What part of off-limits did you not understand, Len?Jesus.”
O’Neal’s voice came back to her at that. She looked between the two of them. “Off-limits?”
Auden stood. “Yes. What you are. For him.” His jaw flexed. “For both of us.”
Her lips parted, irritation whipping through her. “You’ve like…discussedme?”
Auden’s hands were still laced behind his neck, and he looked pained, his dark hair falling into his eyes. “I’m trying to look out for you. Len’s not looking for a girlfriend and neither am I. Sex for us is different. You need to take your time. Get used to school. Meet some people. Go out on dates. Eventually, find a boyfriend and then let things progress how they progress.”
She got to her feet, righteous indignation giving her strength. “Are you kidding me right now?”
Lennox leaned back in his chair, folded his arms, and looked just shy of getting popcorn.
“The only part of the sentence you left out was ‘get married and then consummate your love only enough times so you can have babies,’” she said, making angry air quotes. “I thought you’d moved past what we were taught, but apparently you can only identify misogyny in movies.” She put her hands out to her sides. “Why do I need to follow some prescribed path and you don’t? Why would sex be different for you than for me? Because I’m a girl? Maybe I’m not looking for a boyfriend either. And what right do you have to tell anyone I’m off-limits? What if I want Lennox to give me exactly what he offered? What if Iwantto know what the fuss is about?”
She did. She didn’t. She was mostly terrified. But mad enough to let the reckless words fly anyway.
Lennox half-coughed, half-laughed. “Oh shit.”
Auden lowered his arms and got very, very still. “You don’t want that.”