“Babe, I could watch him tie you upall day. That shit was hot. Or better yet,” she says, looking excited. “You tie him up.”
“I don’t think he would enjoy that,” I reply, leaning against one of the tables.
“Oh, heneedsto be tied up,” she says with a laugh. I like Silla. It’s just easy being around her. It’s not often I’m in the company of people I’m not actively trying to fuck…or who aren’t trying to fuck me. Of course, she was at first, but the moment we established that I was sort of entangled, she let off.
“So…” she says in a light tone.
“So…?” I reply.
“So, did you end up losing…or did you end up gaining?”
My brow furrows quizzically as I stare at her. “I don’t follow.”
“Last time we talked, you were too afraid to get your sexy bits all tangled up with your friends because you were afraid of losing them, andItold you that you were just as likely to gain them. And you may not know this about me, but I’m very wise…”
My light chuckle echoes through the empty room as she smiles that big bright smile at me.
“Clearly,” I joke.
“So which one was it?”
My smile starts to wane as I think about it. Which one is it? I didn’t exactly lose them, but have I gained them? As I think back to everything that’s happened since I first met Silla, it’s a little daunting to believe.
“Oh…I know what that face means. Spill.”
It feels pointless putting up a fight, so I give in and I tell her everything. Crazy that this woman just walked in the club and I’ve known her for all of like two hours total, but she’s easy to talk to and I needsomeoneto talk to about this stuff.
By the end, her eyes are wide, and she’s staring at me for a long time before finally saying something. “So…do you want to be with them? In a committed, poly relationship with both of them?”
“Yeah.” The answer slips out of my mouth easily. As easily as breathing. Because I do. And I thought the idea of committing would be daunting and scary, but with them, it’s not. It feels seamless. I’m not losing anything and gaining everything.
“Do you think she does?”
“Yeah,” I say, unable to hold back the slight grin that stretches across my face. Isabel and I have bonded in a way we can’t undo now. I need her in a way I can’t walk away from. I can’t go back.
“But does he?”
That answer doesn’t fall out of my mouth so easily. It’s more complicated with Hunter. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with me. It’s that he has so many more mountains to climb before he can rightfully claim that he wantsbothof us. And until he does, we’re stuck where we are.
“Okay…follow-up question. How long are you willing to wait for him to decide?”
“I don’t know,” I mutter.
“It sounds to me like he needs an ultimatum because, right now, you’re giving him everything he wants without asking for anything in return. One of you is going to have to make him decide because neither of you deserve to wait for someone to admit to loving you.”
Well, damn. The girl has a point.
And I wish it were that easy, but I’m too afraid that if we push Hunter, he’ll fly off. Like approaching a bird you’re trying to catch. Move too fast and it’s gone.
What would that mean for Isabel? It’s not exactly a risk I’m willing to take.
God, listen to me, trying to talk someone into a committed relationship. Who am I? Because Iused to bea scoundrel. I used to only want to fuck, but now I want more. Because these two are the exception. They’ve always been the exception.
Noticing me deep in thought, Silla approaches me and places a hand on my arm. “I’m going to leave you with those big questions swirling around in that beautiful head of yours. But you know…if it doesn’t work out, we could always use you at the Crescent City club. Just a thought.”
I give her a tense smile and nod. “Thanks.”
With that, she heads toward the door. In the distance, I hear Hunter as he finds her with a warm, business greeting. I hear them say my name, but I stay in the room alone for a few minutes.