Our heartbeats, however, were out of whack. Mine was racing, trying to claw its way out of my chest. Ransom’s, as always, was slow and steady.
He was who he was. A dark horse who’d made it against all odds—without pedigree, without a name, and without a soul. He wasn’t malicious, no. Simply careless. And I could no longer afford to surround myself with people who didn’t care about me.
“You’ll convince him.” I tipped my chin up.
“You’re making a mistake.” Ransom caught the tip of my chin between his fingers. I swatted his hand away.
“Stop telling me what I’m feeling, what I’m thinking, what I’m doing. Stop gaslighting me. Just leave. Right now. And never contact me again.”
“Do you truly mean it?”
I closed my eyes, the pain too much to bear. “Truly.”
And I knew in that moment he’d never contact me again. That he was too proud, too fucked-up, to ever concede. Bow down. Show weakness.
I forced my body to step back, feeling like my legs were made out of concrete. Turning away from him, giving him my back, was the hardest thing I’d had to do.
He was, after all, my protector.
The man who taught me so much about myself.
The man who made me laugh.
Who made me live again.
Who made love to me, when I’d thought I would perish under the touch of another.
“Princess.” His voice made me stop at the foot of the curved stairway. I didn’t turn around. Didn’t trust myself enough. “I’m really proud of you.”
“I know.”
“You’re doing the right thing.”
“I know that, too.”
He’d wanted to say something else. I could feel it. But in the end, all I heard was the soft click of my door as it shut.
For the first time ever, I allowed myself to let go, collapse on the stairs, sobbing into my arms, letting my whole body break, and not just my heart.
“You goddamn idiot.”
Tom plastered his forehead to the cool steel of our agency’s door, closing his eyes. His breathing was labored, and he looked ready to kill someone.
Me. I was that someone. And I deserved a good beating for what I’d done.
Leaning against my desk with my arms crossed, I let him blow off some steam.
“You put your client at risk, let her out of your sight,andkept the entire mess from me. I can’t believe you.”
He pushed off of the door, pivoting into the common area of the agency. He kicked a trashcan. It rolled along the floor, spitting crumpled papers and chewed gum.
With calm I didn’t feel, I noted, “You were the genius who insisted I take the job.”
“I didn’t know your beef with the Russians was an ongoing matter!” Tom threw his arms up in the air, shouting.
“Neither did I,” I flat-out lied.
“And now shefiredyou.”