I’d lived through hell. I knew how it all ended. Hopefulness and optimism were things I’d grown out of.
“When is the last time you’ve been to Birmingham?” he asked.
Good question. I wasn’t sure. “Years, I guess. I can’t even remember.”
“Did you go to school when you moved away?”
I shook my head and stared out the window. “No. After leaving, I wasn’t brave enough to face more teenagers and their judgment about my pregnancy. I began homeschooling then.”
He didn’t respond right away, and I wished we hadn’t gotten on this topic. It was awkward for him, I guess. And not something I liked to talk about.
“Wasn’t that lonely?”
He had no idea. “Yeah, but then Bryony was born and she changed my world.”
That was the truth. Before her birth I had been depressed. My world was lost, and I didn’t think I’d ever smile again. Being fifteen and pregnant was terrifying. Even if you had the support of your parents.
“You’re a good mom. You make it look easy, even though I know it can’t be.”
Bryony made it easy. She was such a good baby. It was almost like she was born knowing I needed easy. The moment they laid her on my chest I started to cry. Not because I was scared or sad but because she was mine. Perfect, beautiful, and healthy. I’d brought a life into this world, and nothing I ever did after that would be as important.
“She’s my spot of sunshine in life,” I replied. She was worth every teenage moment lost. I wouldn’t trade her to get any of it back. I would never suggest being a teen mom to someone, because it wasn’t a life choice. But when there is no option and it’s placed upon you, you then learn to survive and make the best of it. Bryony was definitely the best.
“Are you going to just graduate from your online homeschooling courses? Or have you considered going back to school?”
I never considered it. Nor could I. “I have responsibilities that won’t change. My parents need my help with my grandmother, and then there is Bryony. I don’t want her in a day care. She needs me.”
“I wonder if any of the girls at school would think the same way you do. Somehow I doubt it,” he replied. “I respect that.”
I wasn’t really after his respect, but I didn’t say that. I did this for my family because I loved them. Not to get a pat on the back.
“So tell me about these boots and why you need them this badly,” I said, changing the subject off me.
Finally turning my attention from the road to my right, I looked over at him. He had a small grin on his face. “They’re just some I want.”
“Okay . . . well, you can’t order them online or go to Nashville to find them?”
His grin got a little bigger. “I could. But then I wouldn’t have a reason to get you far enough away from Lawton so we could enjoy ourselves for the day.”
“Are you saying this trip is so we can hang out?” I asked, my heart doing that silly little squeeze and flutter.
He glanced over at me. “Yeah. I guess it is.”
I didn’t ask any more. That was enough. Enough to make me forget this was going to end too. Most good things did.
She’s with Me
CHAPTER 22
BRADY
Our conversation became easy, and the two hours didn’t seem that long at all. When Riley laughed, I wanted to soak it in. The sound of it was . . . nice. No, it was more than nice. I craved it. I found myself trying to coax a laugh from her. Anything to hear her and watch her face light up.
I received a few texts, and each one I ignored. Gunner’s, West’s, and Asa’s had been expected. The one from Ivy hadn’t, but I ignore hers normally anyway. Today I wasn’t living in that world. I was living in the world I chose to live in.
“I’ve never had barbecue this good,” Riley said as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. I couldn’t think of one girl I’d ever dated that would have chosen a barbecue place to eat and then ordered ribs covered in sauce. Most of them ate things that weren’t messy. But Riley was enjoying her food. Getting sauce all over her hands and face didn’t bother her at all.
Seeing her laugh at the mess she was making was cute. I wanted to sit here all day and experience this. I picked up another hot wing and cleaned the bone. Normally I was a cleaner eater because my date was. But with Riley I felt like I could eat as if she were one of the guys. Although she looked nothing like one of the guys.
If girls realized how attractive it was to be so free and happy about something as simple as some ribs, they’d lighten up a bit. The guys two tables over from us kept checking Riley out, and although it was annoying that they didn’t seem to mind that she was with me, I couldn’t actually blame them.
I was having a hard time taking my eyes off her too.
“I’m going to have to go wash my face in the bathroom after this,” she said with a smile. “Bryony loves ribs. I wish she were here for these.”
I’d offer to take some back with us, but they’d be bad by the time we finished our day and drove the two hours back.
“I could grill some for her sometime. Y’all could come over for dinner.”
Riley paused for a moment and a mix of emotions flashed in her eyes. She put a rib down and let out a small sigh. “Yeah, maybe.”
What was that about? She seemed almost upset by my offer, or disappointed.
“Did I say something wrong?”
She was looking down at her ribs then lifted her eyes to mine. “I don’t live in a fantasy world, Brady. I’ve had too much reality for that. Truth is, when your friends find out that you’re spending time with me, it will stop. Because you’ll have to choose. They’ll make you. And I don’t expect you to choose me.”
What the hell did that mean? I wasn’t going to have to choose anyone. I was my own man, dammit, and if I wanted to pick my friends, I could. I didn’t need anyone’s permission.
“I’m not like that. I’d have hoped you knew that already. No one makes me do anything.”
She shrugged and cleaned her hands off on a napkin. “It’s not a bad thing. It just is what it is. Here we have no judgment, and I enjoy being with you. I like this. Having a friend. But I’m not delusional. I know everyone in Lawton hates me and thinks I’m a liar. Well, everyone but you.”
I had never been openly hated. I wondered what that felt like. How painful and unfair it must be. My anger rose up at all of them. Everyone who had talked bad about her. Everyone who had judged her or been cruel to her. Then I admitted to myself the hardest part: I was one of those everyones. Maybe not now, but I had been once. I wasn’t any better.
“I’m sorry,” I said honestly.
She smiled. “For being my friend?”
“No. For turning on you when I did.”
The smile on her face faded. “We were young. You thought what everyone else did. Besides, I ran out of town. It made me look even more guilty. If I had stayed, life for my family would have just gotten worse, but the fact is we left. People feel sorry for my parents because of me. But these people’ll always hate me. The good thing is I won’t always be there. I’ll get out and make my own way in life soon enough. In a town where no one knows me and I can start fresh. Me and Bryony.”
The image of Riley taking Bryony to some town far away and building a life, getting a job, paying bills, raising her daughter, all while I was off throwing a football and chasing my dream, seemed unfair. So much of her life seemed unfair. She’d missed high school and she’d miss college.
“What was your dream, when you were younger?” I asked her. I didn’t want to say before Bryony, because that sounded cold. Although that was what I wanted to know.
“You mean before I became a mom?” She was smiling as if she read my mind. “I wanted to be a vet.”
“So you love animals,” I said, feeling my heart ache for the girl who wouldn’t be able to chase her dream the way I would.
“Yes. I do. I can’t take care of one now because I can’t afford it. But when Bryony and I have our own place, we will have dogs and cats. Maybe even goats if I get enough land.”