She stilled and looked up at him with desperation. “You know I’m on the pill, and we’ve both used condoms…every time. Haven’t we?”
He met her eyes, understanding that she was asking if it was safe. “Every time.”
The corner of her mouth ticked up and by mutual understanding, they dismissed the preliminaries. He slid one hand under her hips and positioned the head of his cock at her wet opening.
“God, please, just do it!” she begged, wriggling against him, her face reflecting pure anguish at the delay.
Matt pushed into her, full length, groaning at the sensation of penetration without a barrier. Her skin sheathed him in a wet, velvet rub so intense it took every ounce of his control to keep from finishing right then.
Nichole threw back her head and opened her mouth in a silent “O” as he withdrew to the tip and then plunged back in, caressing her clit with his groin. She pulled her head forward, lips parted, and stared into his eyes, wearing an expression of pure wonderment.
“Did you know…it could be…so good?”
“No.” He thrust into her again, and their eyes locked. He shook his head, grunting out the rest of his answer, “Never like this….”
“Virgins,” she half giggled, although her laugh turned into a moan on his next thrust.
He nodded and dug his fingers into the sweet flesh of her ass. “Glad we…waited?”
“No,” she gasped with a vehement shake of her head. He would have laughed if not for the contraction of muscles throughout her body, gripping and stroking him. Her eye squeezed shut. She was coming already. He drove deep, every thrust earning a louder cry from her as she crested her wave.
“Look at me,” he commanded, unable to stand the loss of intimacy.
She lifted her lids and opened her soul to him through those deep blue eyes, and all he could think were the words, I love you. The single line screamed through his mind. Begged, demanded that he give it voice. It sliced through his consciousness, tearing at his heart and mocking his conceit at believing he was in control. He pumped his hips, harder and faster. Driving in and out of her with increasing fervor until he lost all restraint and poured himself into her body, his voice ragged as a roar ripped from his chest and throat.
He panted, bowed his head against her neck, and rolled over onto his back, bringing Nichole to rest atop him. They lay there in silence for a few moments, long enough for Matt to slow his breathing and clear his mind.
What the fuck was he doing?
Nichole closed her eyes. It was over. She’d never have this again. Matt would never let her. She knew he’d seen into her heart when he’d held her gaze before losing himself inside her body. That momentary flicker of shock and uncertainty flashing across his face told her he’d seen through her charade, and his gaze had instantly shuttered closed. There would be no more nights together.
She had known that from the start.
Nothing had changed.
They were still best friends, only now with one sultry night between them.
“You awake?” he asked, his voice coarse. “Nichole?”
“Yes,” she answered, suddenly she realizing she didn’t know how to proceed from here. It was time to be friends again, but she was sprawled across his body, intimately molded to him. The logistics of a gracious exit seemed beyond her mental capacity. She took a moment to check her anxiety. She didn’t have to rush to scramble out of bed. She should just let it come naturally. Make it light, until they went their separate ways for showers. Laugh once or twice, and then act as if the whole, amazing, incredible, addictive interlude had never happened. Maybe in a few weeks, she’d go on a date—a very casual, no hand holding kind of date—just to prove to Matt she wasn’t carrying a torch. No worries. They’d be fine.
He stroked his hand over her bare shoulder and down her back, and stalled it at her waist. She knew he realized his touch was too intimate for where they were going. He moved his errant hand away and shifted from beneath her. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he leaned forward and tugged on a pair of navy track pants. The wide expanse of his back faced her as he asked, “You okay about…everything?”
No. Never. I’ll want you forever. “Oh, of course.” She pushed up on her arms and gathered the sheet around her. “Completely. Are you?”
Matt dared a glance over his shoulder. His attention flickered to the sheet, and he seemed somehow relieved that she was covered. His smile broke the tension. “It was fun, thanks for a great time. I needed that.”
Fun.
She wanted to scream, to demand to know how it could mean so much less to him than it did her. But she had no right. This was what she’d asked for, what she’d wanted.
Yes. Okay. Of course.
Casual and easy, just like she’d planned.
Emotion clogged her throat, but she pushed out the words and even managed a small laugh, “Glad to help out a friend in need. Although, technically, it was me begging for it. Will I ever live it down?”
He leaned across the bed and kissed her temple, letting his lips linger against her skin a fraction of a second longer than normal, and she wondered…. But then he pushed back from the bed and walked to the bathroom.