“It takes practice. It took me years to master it.” I try again. “That’s it, you’re getting there.”
“Nice,” I say as my fly drifts down the stream. Alyssa grabs her rod and picks a different spot.
We spend a few minutes in silence, the warm sun shining down on us and I have to say, I haven’t relaxed like this in a long time.
“You must have spent a lot of time with your grandfather.”
She nods. “Every Sunday afternoon, actually. Until he became ill.”
“I’m sorry. What happened?”
“Lung cancer.” She shakes her head. “He loved his cigars.” A beat of silence and then, “You would have liked him, Alek.”
“I bet I would have. Were Rose and Vince your mother’s or father’s parents?”
I pull my line in and cast it again. I stare at my fly as it glides toward the foamy water.
“You’re getting it, Alek,” she says.
“That’s because you’re a good teacher.”
Her attention slides back to her fly. I take in her profile, the look of longing on her face. I’m not sure she’s going to answer my question, but after a long silent minute she says, “They’re my father’s parents.”
I don’t want to open old wounds, but I have an overwhelming urge to know more—everything—about this kind and giving woman, so I carefully ask, “What…happened to your parents?”
A rush of air leaves her mouth, and unease invades my gut as another minute of silence stretches on. “Dad was in the military. He met Mom when he was stationed in Fort Bragg, North Carolina.”
“Army,” I say quietly and she nods. “What about your mother’s parents, did you know them?”
r /> “My mother lost her parents in a car accident when she was in her twenties. I was born while my father was overseas actually, and when he came back he wasn’t the same, or so I was told. My crying was a trigger for him, and he started drinking heavily, drugs. You name it. He basically told my mother if I didn’t go, he would. I was dropped off with his parents.” A humorless laugh tumbles out of her throat. “She made her choice.”
Anger flares hot inside me as I take in the torment on her face. Jesus, the thoughts of her just getting tossed away breaks my fucking heart. I shake my head, my fingers curling and uncurling, wanting to pull her to me and keep her safe for the rest of her life. She’s a survivor, can take care of herself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there for her—be the guy she can really count on.
“I don’t know where she is or where he is or even if they’re together.” She shrugs, nonchalantly but it contradicts the haunted expression in her eyes. Fuck, all I want to do is drag her in my arms and make everything better. “They disappeared, never to be heard from again.”
“Did you ever want to go look for them?” I ask, even though I want to say more, like how the fuck can a mother just abandon her child and why the hell didn’t they all get the help they needed?
“No.” Her head drops and she stares into the rushing water. “Why would I chase down people who didn’t want me?”
My blood runs cold as her words tear at my heart. “Yeah,” I say quietly, keeping my emotions contained because an outburst is not what she needs from me, but the need to protect her is growing stronger by the second. “Sounds like your Dad wasn’t well.”
“No, he wasn’t, and I don’t know whether he didn’t want help, or couldn’t get help.” She casts me a quick glance. “I don’t talk about this, Alek. Ever. I’m not really sure why I am right now.”
She trusts me. That’s why she’s telling me. It’s a goddamn honor that she chose me to share something so painful and private with, and I’m a goddamn idiot for not being straight up with her from the beginning.
“Your secrets are safe with me, Aly.” I draw a breath to steady myself, and try to quiet my racing heart before I say, “I’m glad you had Rose and Vince.” A warm smile touches her mouth.
“Me too, but it wasn’t easy for them either, not knowing what happened to their son. But they gave me the best life they could.” She puts her hand over her heart. “They filled me up with love.”
“You deserve all the love, Aly,” I say quietly, as everything I feel for her rushes over my skin like a windstorm. Our eyes meet, lock together, as my heart hurts for the little girl who’d been abandoned. “I can see why you won’t leave here.” She spent a lifetime of everyone leaving her—her parents, friends, boyfriend—but sweet Aly, well, she’s full of integrity and character, and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. No way will she hurt those she loves the way she’d been hurt.
“I’m not leaving,” she says matter of factly, emotions flickering in her eyes.
No, she’s not, but I am. Fuck, I’m no different than anyone else in her life. I lift my head to find her looking at me.
“I’m okay, Alek.”
“I know,” I say.