“Don’t you dare dunk me again,” she says as her hands circle my neck to hold on.
“Just saving your feet from the hot sand.” As a burst of happiness fills the gaping hole in my soul, and before I realize what I’m doing, I give her a kiss on the cheek.
Chase laughs. “You kissed Mommy. You kissed Mommy,” he says and rolls on the sand with Huxley.
“Come on, Chase,” Quinn says laughing. “Let’s get Huxley cooled off in the water.”
Huxley runs out and Chase goes after him. Fallon is about to jump from my arms to follow them in, but I hold her tight. “It’s okay. Quinn’s got him,” I assure her.
“I’m just not used to other people caring for him.”
“You’ve done a lot on your own for a very long time,” I say, and that’s when I realize how alone she’s been, even before she lost her husband. Ethan was on the road a lot, maybe more than he needed to be. No wonder they were having trouble in their marriage.
“I’m used to taking care of everything myself,” she says, and my gut clenches. Goddammit, I want to be the guy she can count on, the guy that takes care of her inside the bedroom and out. But what if I let her down again? What if I can’t be the man she needs? Being here on the ocean it’s easy to forget real life exists, but it does, and when we get back home, things have to go back to no
rmal.
Right?
“Jamie?” she asks.
As my heart swells with the things I feel for her I walk into the water. “Tonight I’m totally going to take care of you,” I say and set her on her feet. She gives me a quizzical look.
“Is everything okay?”
I slide my hand around her head, and bring her lips to mine for a kiss. I suddenly don’t even care who’s watching. I break the kiss and Chase comes running over, splashing us both.
“Chase,” Fallon yelps and hugs herself in the chilly ocean water. She scoops up her son and he laughs as she spins him. The dog starts barking and running circles around us, and I can’t keep the smile from my face.
“Who wants to play Frisbee?” Luke calls from the sand.
“Hey, Chase, you want to play?”
“Frisbee,” he calls out and Fallon sets him down.
I take a fast dunk to get the smell off fish off my body, and the women lay out their towels as we form a circle with the kids and start playing frisbee. All four kids are pretty athletic, not a surprise considering their parents. Watching Chase does make me want to get him in a pair of skates, though.
We play for a solid hour as the women sunbathe, and when I hear a bunch of rumbling stomachs—okay, it might have just been mine—I stop the game. “Who wants to fry up some fish?” I ask, and Daisy pulls a face of disgust that makes us all laugh.
“I guess it’s a good thing the girls bought that chicken,” Jonah says.
“Told you so,” Quinn calls out.
“She doesn’t miss a thing,” Jonah says and shakes his head. “Now I’ll be paying for this all night.” He calls for Huxley who is nipping at the waves. “Let’s all head back to my place. I know I caught the biggest fish, but since I’m the best cook…”
Moans and groans of disbelief come from the others, and as I laugh, and as everyone makes their way back to the cottages, Chase tugs my hand. His brow is furrowed, and worried something is wrong, I drop to my knees. “What’s up, bud?”
“Can you be my daddy?” he asks, and my damn heart leaps into my throat. Damn, he’s a smart boy, and I never should have kissed Fallon in front of him. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t, and that’s the problem. Being with Fallon makes me forget about life for a while, and why I can’t be with her.
“Chase,” I begin and glance at the clouds moving across the blue sky. “Your daddy is up there watching over you remember?”
“But I want a daddy here,” he says and jumps up and down in the sand. “Everyone has their daddy here. Why don’t I?”
Because of me.
The others move away to give us our privacy, and I cast a glance to my left to find Fallon staring at us, perfectly still, her jaw open, every muscle in her body pulled tight. Christ, I’m not even sure she’s breathing. Then again, I’m having a hell of a time filling my constricted lungs. I swallow the massive amount of guilt pushing bile into my throat, and struggle to find the right words to help Chase understand the situation.
“I can do things with you,” I say to appease him and when he looks like he’s about to cry, I quickly add, “Like a daddy would.” Oh, fuck I think I might have just made this worse.