“Kane’s not the guy for her. Besides she’s not ready for more. She made that perfectly clear.”
“Maybe not.” He goes quiet and I think he’s going to let the subject drop until he leans into me again and say, “Remember the playoffs, our seventh game with Detroit?”
“How could I forget? We won the cup
that night.”
He nods and smile. “Yeah we did, thanks to you.”
“Team effort,” I say.
“It was your goal in overtime that sealed the deal.”
I shrug.
“Jesus, that was a risky move you took that night, could have gone bad but in the end, it paid off.”
“I know what you’re doing, Cole,” I say and take a long pull from the bottle. “But my risk-taking days are behind me.”
“Too bad, because Fallon is an amazing woman. I know you think so too. You talked about her enough over the years.” His gaze narrows in on me. “And I wouldn’t want you to miss your shot with her because you blame yourself for what happened. It wasn’t your fault, Jamie.”
My grip on my bottle tightens. “There are things you don’t know.”
“Maybe there are things you don’t know too,” he says and as I glare at him, my stomach squeezing.
“What are you talking about?” I ask my mind going back to a conversation I had with Fallon, and how I thought she was keeping things from me.
“I’m not saying anything.” He takes a big drink. “Too much beer,” he says, but I’m not so sure I believe him. “All I know is sometimes we need to take risks, and you deserve happiness.”
As I stare at him I can’t help but wonder if he knows something I don’t? If he does, why would he keep secrets from me? We’re buddies, teammates. Ending the conversation, Cole stands and goes and sits by Nina.
“Daddy, Daddy,” Brandon says, as he shoves another marshmallow onto the stick.
Daisy runs up to Zander. “Daddy, do you want one?”
“You bet,” Zander says as Scotty starts running in circles from the sugar high.
“Come here, kiddo,” Jonah says. “No more sugar for you.”
“More, Daddy more,” he says and that’s when I note the way Chase is looking around, his tired eyes wide as he watches the men interact with their children. My heart squeezes, and while I’m not his father, not about to even pretend I am—I’m the fucking reason he doesn’t have one— I climb from my seat and sit in front of the fire with him. I cross my legs, and get comfortable on the ground.
“How about roasting one for me?” I say to him and the smile that comes over his face is like a fist to the gut. As Chase sticks the marshmallow into the flames, Luke stands up.
“Okay, I have something to say,” he announces. Katee grins at him, and he pulls her to her feet. She wraps her arms around him, and he holds her close.
All eyes turn to them, as they stand there grinning. “I’d just like to point out that soon enough, we’re going to have enough kids to form our own hockey team,” Luke says, and puts his hand on his wife’s stomach.
“No way,” Nina says and jumps up. “You’re pregnant Katee?”
Katee puts her hand on her stomach, over Luke’s, and Fallon turns to look at me. Her eyes are soft, sincere as her gaze moves over my face. No doubt she’s wondering if Katee’s announcement has taken me back, reminding me of the baby I lost? Fallon knows me well enough to understand it’s a wound that won’t heal. I just hope Sara has moved on, found someone better than me.
But in this moment, I’m happy for my friends, thrilled. In confidence, Luke told me ages ago they’d been trying to get pregnant, and I don’t want to bring the mood down, so I give her a smile to let her know I’m okay. The truth is, being with Fallon, seeing her smile again, is somehow helping me become whole again. But I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve her.
“That’s right,” Katee says, and I focus my attention back on her. “We’re having a baby. I’m three months along. We were waiting for everyone to be together to tell you.”
The girls squeal loudly and all jump up to hug her, while the guys pat Luke on the back. Luke pulls a bottle of champagne from his cooler and cracks the lid. Katee hands out small plastic glasses and Luke fills them. We all salute them and swallow the champagne like it’s a shot.
“That’s why you weren’t drinking this afternoon,” Sam says, shaking her head. “Or now.”