Mom comes from the steps and Chase instantly goes to her. She scoops him up for a hug. “You go ahead. He’s in good hands.”
“Don’t I even get a hello or a hug?” I say, and laugh when Mom shoos me away.
My father snorts. “Take all the time you need, son,” he says, and they all disappear inside.
“Don’t forget his water wings,” I call out.
“It’s not our first rodeo,” Dad calls back to me and I just shake my head. No, I suppose it’s not and Ethan and I were the rodeo clowns who’d given them most of their gray hair.
I head to Starbucks and drive back to Fallon’s, hoping I gave her enough time to go through Ethan’s things. My heart squeezes. What she’s doing can’t be easy. I ease into the driveway, grab her latte, and walk into the house to find it quiet.
“Fallon,” I call out.
“Up here,” she says, and I follow her voice and find her in her room sitting on her bed, going through old photo albums. I hand her the latte.
“Thanks, Jamie,” she says, putting it on the nightstand and patting the mattress beside her. I sit next to her and glance at the pictures, but it’s the tears in her eyes that are holding my attention. I slide my hand around her back and she leans into me.
“You okay?” I ask quietly.
“I am,” she assures me, and I hug her tighter. “Remember this?” she says, her words a half laugh, half cry.
I glance at the picture of us in Mom and Dad’s pool from a years ago, before Chase was born, and I made the NHL. Fallon is on my shoulders, and her friend Maria is on Ethan’s, and the girls are trying to knock each other off using water noodles like they’re jousting lances. I laugh and shake my head.
“Seems like that was just yesterday.”
“We won,” she says, with a small smile as she gazes at the picture like she’s a million miles away.
I nudge her. “That’s because we were a good team.”
“Yeah, we were,” she says, an almost wistful, yearning in her voice.
“Maria was the one who introduced Ethan and me to you at her party when you were both started nursing school.”
She nods. “I remember.”
“What ever happened to her?”
“Got married, and moved to Colorado. We’re Facebook friends, and she came back for the funeral. But with busy lives, we don’t get to spend too much time together.”
I go quiet for a long time as she flips the pages, and looks over the photos. Finally, I break the silence. “Did you go through Ethan’s stuff?”
“Yeah,” she gestures toward the tote. “I’m keeping those things. Some keepsakes for Chase.” I take a look around the room, assess how many trips I’ll have to take to Goodwill. Fallon closes the book, and her eyes go wide as she looks at me. “Tell me you are not humming the alligator song?” she says.
“Mother fucker, I am,” I say, and she bursts out laughing. “It’s the worst.”
“The worst,” she agrees. “We listened to it on repeat from Spokane to Seattle the other day.”
“And you’re still sane?” I ask, warmth pushing back the sadness as her laughter curls around me.
“I’m not sure if I ever was to begin with,” she says and I chuckle with her.
We both go quiet again and I break it with, “Want to get out of here?”
She shakes her head no. “I have to get this place—”
“After we get the place ready. Let’s get out of here, and take Chase to the ocean.” I shouldn’t be pushing for this. I really shouldn’t be. My plan was not to get too close again, not to let this family trust in me, when I’m not a guy who can be trusted. Plus being around her is fucking with me, urging me to give in to the things I feel, but I can’t. I can’t risk my heart. Not anymore. ?
??You don’t want to be here when John starts showing the place,” I say forcing the issue. “Katee and Luke will be there. So will Nina and Cole with their son Brandon. You remember them, don’t you?”