“Were you and Ethan having problems?” Her entire body goes stiff, and it instantly answers my question. “That’s what I thought,” I say quickly.
Her lashes flash rapidly over blue eyes. “I never should have said anything about Ethan, Jamie. I’m sorry. In the moment, I—”
“It’s okay. It’s me, Fallon,” I say softly. “We used to always talk, remember.”
“I remember,” she says so quietly I have to strain to hear it. “The truth is, Jamie, we were having problems. He was away from home more and more, and I tried to lose the weight, but it wasn’t easy and I think that could be one of the reasons why…” She lets her words fall off and turns from me, but not before I catch the pain in her eyes. What is she’s not telling me?
“Fallon?” She opens her mouth, like she wants to say more, but then closes it again. “I loved my brother,” I state.
“You were good to him and he was a good father when he was home,” she says quickly, and it doesn’t go unnoticed that she left out that he was a good husband, and that he in turn was a good brother to me. I’d been too busy with hockey and getting engaged, and Sara’s pregnancy to realize their marriage was failing. Once again, I let Fallon down.
“I’ll always love him, but that doesn’t mean I always liked or agreed with everything he did or said.” I take her hand in mine, turn her toward me. “There is no excuse for what he said to you, or how he treated you.”
Tears pool in her eyes. “Jamie, I can’t…”
“Okay, I just want you to know that.” I scrub my face. “Also, last night, being with you. Jesus, Fallon.” I exhale slowly and shake my head. “But I don’t think we should do that again.”
“I understand,” she says. “It was a one-time thing. I think we just both really needed each other and I don’t want it to come between what we have.”
I give her hand a squeeze. “It won’t.”
“Promise,” she says.
“I promise.”
“Thanks Jamie.” A growl rises in my throat but it’s drowned out by the doorbell. “That was fast,” she says, and I follow her to the door. She swings it open, and on the stoop, a middle-aged man dressed in a button-down shirt and dark grey dress pants gives her a big toothy smile.
“Fallon?”
“Yes.”
“John Harrow,” he says and holds his hand out for a shake. “So nice to meet you. Marion said you were looking for a realtor.”
“That’s right and I appreciate you coming so quickly.”
“My pleasure,” he says and after Fallon invites him inside, his gaze lands on me and he nearly fumbles.
‘You’re…you’re…”
Fallon laughs. “John, this is Jamie Adams. But I suspect you already know that.”
“Nice to meet you, John,” I say and shake his hand.
“I’m a big fan,” he gushes, and I grin at him. “I never got to meet you when I sold your Mom and Dad’s place, but I watched every game you played.”
“Thanks. Always nice to meet a fan.” Chase comes running into the room, making noises and pretending he’s driving a race car. I scoop him up. “This little guy is Chase, and we’ll get out of your way so you can have a look around.”
I open the closet door, where Ethan kept his sports equipment, and grab two ball gloves and a ball. “Come on, bud. Let’s go out back and play catch.”
The warm mid-morning sun beats down on the backyard as I fit my hand into the glove and hand Chase the smaller one, which is still too big for his little hand. We toss the ball back and forth for a bit until Chase grows bored.
“I want to go swimming,” he says and eyes the dirty green pool.
“You know what.” I toss the ball up into the air and catch it in the glove. “The pool is going to be cleaned tomorrow, so maybe we’ll be able to get in it afterward.”
“I want to go now,” he pouts and I toss him the ball.
I glance up as Fallon and John step outside to examine the back yard. Chase takes the ball and tosses it up in the air—mimicking me—and tries desperately to catch it in his too-big glove. As I watch him the full weight of my influence over him hits me. Goddammit, I can’t take that on. What if I fuck it up? I’ve fucked up enough as it is.