“Only because it’s the only thing you know how to cook.”
“Hey, be nice. I make a mean mac and cheese.”
“Oh, I remember your mac and cheese. The blackened kind that stuck to the bottom of the pot.” Chuckling, I pull three plates from the cupboard and set them on the counter. “I only ate it to be nice.”
“I’ll show you nice,” he says and picks up a wooden stick and slaps it against his palm.
“Don’t you dare,” I warn. I grab the tea towel, and start to spin it in my hand, ready to whack him in retaliation.
“Mommy,” Chase says, breaking the playful moment as he drags a handful of dinky cars and his car mat into the kitchen. “Jamie said I could go swimming today.”
“Not in that pool,” I say, and cringe as I glance out the window to see the dirty green water.
“Mom and Dad were hoping we’d stop by this afternoon. I gave them a call. You mentioned visiting them, so I hope you don’t mind. They’d love to see Chase and maybe he could take a swim in their pool. It’s a hell of a heat wave we’re having.”
I set my coffee down and notice the small shake in my hand. “I’m not so sure why I’m nervous about seeing them.”
Reading me so well, Jamie puts his hand on my arm. “They’re not upset with you, Fallon. They understand you needed to be with your mother.” He smiles but it’s wounded and makes me think he didn’t understand my need to escape. Then again, how could he? I used to turn to him for comfort, share things with him, but I couldn’t in this situation—for reasons he can never know.
As his touch messes with me, heat rippling over my sex, I back away, and go about putting the groceries in the fridge. “I haven’t been swimming in a long time.” I laugh but it’s not light and airy like I want. “None of my old suits will fit.” I catch Jamie’s eyes. “Baby weight,” I say, feeling the need to explain again.
“Fallon—” he begins but I cut him off.
“I’ll pay you for all these groceries.”
He pauses for a moment, and follows my lead by saying, “Yeah, by cooking for me. I’ve been living off pizza and beer.”
“And pancakes,” I add.
He sticks his gut out and Chase laughs. “I won’t fit into my hockey jersey at this rate.”
I go still when my cell phone rings. I reach for it, and check the display, but it comes up as private. I slide my finger across the screen, and say hello. I glance up at Jamie when no one answers. “Hello,” I say again.
“What’s going on?” Jamie asks.
“Not sure.” I shrug and hang up. “I guess whoever it was changed their mind.”
I set my phone down as Jamie plates the pancakes and we all take a seat at the table, but as we do, a knot tightens in my throat. The normalcy of this, eating as a family around this big oaken table, is all too familiar.
I concentrate on my son as he reaches for the syrup. “Here, let me help,” I say and pour a little on his plate. I hand the bottle to Jamie. Our fingers touch and my nipples pucker. I quickly pull back. What is wrong with me? I’ve touched him numerous times in the past, and never got all jittery like this before. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. Maybe I did have a thing for the older Adams brother when I first met the two at a friend’s party. But he went off to the NHL, and Ethan and I grew closer. After that, I stopped looking at Jamie as anything other than a friend, and eventually a brother-in-law.
Until now.
4
Jamie
I had every intention of getting up with the sun and clearing out of the house before Fallon and Chase climbed from their beds. Yes, I agreed to help her empty the place of Ethan’s things, but packing up his belongings is a solitary task and it’s best if I don’t spend too much time with this family, have them rely on me in any sort of way. I fucked their lives up enough as it is.
But when Chase woke up to empty cupboards, and Fallon was sound asleep, I couldn’t just up and leave. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a total prick. I just can’t let anyone get too close and they deserve someone better than me in their life.
So why did I decide to buy steak for dinner, and take them to visit with Mom and Dad?
Probably because I missed Fallon and Chase so goddamn much, and I could see that she was nervous about visiting with my family—her in-laws—alone after taking off without so much as a word. But after today, I plan to make myself a little less accessible. They’re both better off that way.
I glance over at Fallon, and take a peek at Chase in the rearview mirror as I make the short trek to my parents’ house. When they downsized, they found a place close to me. I guess after losing one son, they wanted to be closer to the other.
“Mom and Dad are going to love seeing you two.”