The sun is low in the sky, and the cool winter air whips over my face, but I don’t care. I’m having too much fun skating on the outdoor rink to worry about frostbite. I guess I must be acclimating to the temperature here in the mountains.
Luke skates circles around me, and I smile. He’s so at home on the ice. He must be anxious to get back to hockey…to Ari. As I think about that, a knot tightens in my stomach. I realize we’re just playing here, and soon enough reality will come crashing over me like a bucket of cold water. My mind drifts back to last night and the slow tender way he made love to me.
Made love?
Wait, what am I thinking? That was just another lesson, to show me how good sex was when you were in a sleepy state of mind. Or was it?
Okay, Katee, keep it together. Don’t go confusing sex and emotions.
That first night when we watched porn, we talked about that. Talked about how much better sex was when it was with someone you loved. The truth is, I’ve always loved Luke. I just never let myself love him the way I always wanted to, until this week. I consider that a moment longer. Luke has alwa
ys teased me sexually, but has never made a real pass at me before, or tried to get me into his bed. Is this really about teaching me about sex, or am I just some kind of rebound?
Oh God, am I his rebound?
“Hey what are you thinking about?” Luke says as he comes skating up to me.
I quickly glance around, and that’s when I spot the beautiful glassed-in gazebo, a wedding taking place inside it. “Look,” I say to Luke. Anything to distract him, before he probes too deep and sees what I’m feeling. He follows my gaze, and takes in the wedding.
“Want a closer look?” he says, and I nod.
We skate to the edge of the rink, and he stands behind me, wraps his arms around my body to keep me warm as the couple inside the gorgeous gazebo exchange vows.
“Why so quiet?” he asks.
“No reason. Just tired out, I guess,” I say.
He presses warm lips to my neck. “Have you ever pictured yourself walking down the aisle like that?”
“No, not really. You know how I feel about marriage.”
“But you did say you’d do it with the right guy.”
I nod. “True.” Only problem is Luke is the right guy, he’s just not my guy.
We stay there and watch until the rings are placed, and kisses are exchanged. I let loose a sigh, and Luke chuckles against my ear.
“You want that, Katee, and you totally deserve that.”
I shrug. “I’d rather elope,” I say.
“Liar,” he responds, and skates off before I can pinch him. I go after him, my heart a little heavier than it was moments ago. Tomorrow we go home, and in two days, I might lose my only friend. How can I possibly be around him, especially if he gets back with Ari, and pretend there is nothing more between us? I’m not sure I can pull that off.
From the side of the rink I see the guy who I was playing water volleyball with. He waves to me and I wave back. Maybe I should have taken him up on his offer to get a drink. Maybe I should seriously start looking for someone else.
Luke skates back to me, with two cups in his hand. “Hot chocolate,” he says.
I take it from him and smell the chocolate. “Mmm,” I say, but think twice about drinking it. After a week of indulging, my pants are beginning to tighten.
“Drink it, you’re perfect,” he says. I shake my head, and wish he couldn’t read me so well.
I take a sip from the cup, and warmth goes through me. “You’re paying for my extra yoga classes when we get home.”
He laughs. “Anything for you, Katee.”
“Luke?”
“Yeah.”