"I called him out. He drew and fired, he was faster, but…I was more accurate, I killed him son. I look back on that day, and how fast it all happened, and I still wonder how and why it happened that way. I only wanted him to leave my Ma alone. He wouldn't."
"Did you kill him on purpose, or was it an accident?"
"I'm afraid," Cord adjusted his hat and let his hands fall between his legs as he continued to squat, he pulled grass up between his fingers. "It was on purpose, but, I was just a kid when I did it, sixteen. Wet behind the ears. I challenged him to a gunfight. I wasn't gonna let him push my mother around like that. I wasn't even sure I could best him. But that day, I just didn't care. And he was a leading citizen of this town. So no one believed it was self defense. But he did draw first. My ma had yelled out at the time and caught him off guard because for a split second, he looked at her, his aim was too low. No one thought I could kill him in a fair fight. But your Ma believed me. Her and Doc were about the only ones and my Ma of course."
"How does it feel?" Charlie asked.
"What?"
"Killing someone."
"It doesn't feel too good son. You spend time wondering if it could have worked out different. You wonder what you should have done. You fret over doing it. It is never good to have to kill someone."
Charlie seemed to think on it a moment then he nodded. "Well, I reckon you did what you had to do."
"That's right, son, I did." Cord answered. "I'm not proud of it, but he pulled a gun on my mother. I couldn't stand by and do nothing."
Charlie nodded slowly firming his lips. "I'd do the same."
Cord glanced at him and smiled. "I believe you would."
"Nobody can mistreat my Ma and get away with it. Nobody!" Charlie stood his ground and stared up at Cord.
"That's the way I felt son. But you see, after I killed him, things got bad for me around here. People give me a hard time about it, all but my Ma, your Ma and Doc. But…I gotta admit, it caused a lot of problems. That's why after a time, I left and joined the army." Cord told him, looking off, into the forest that surround the small creek. Memories assailed him and he closed his eyes to blink them away. "I wasn't very welcome in the town after that."
"They didn't arrest you?" Charlie asked, curiously.
"No, they didn't. But the townsfolks gave me a hard time about it. They made it hard for me to live around here. The Sheriff, he had to turn in his badge because he wouldn't arrest me. He knew my Ma wouldn't lie about what happened. But before you ever do anything like that remember, it only made things harder. Not just for me, but for my mother, and even your mother, because she was my friend…"
"You didn't marry my Ma back then? How come?"
"No son, I didn't. We were pretty young back then. I had just come to town to see her, but I wasn't staying. Now that I think on it, I feel kind of cowardly for not facing the people here and living here. But your ma and I cared about each other all along. After the war, I hired my gun out to people to protect them. It wasn't the kind of life for a woman and I still didn't know about you. So it was best that she and you…were here."
Charlie thought about that a moment, then nodded. "I always knew you'd come and claim me."
Cord smiled and dusted Charlie's head with his hand.
"But now…I want to make us a family." Cord turned to him once more.
Charlie looked him in the eye for a full minute. "I reckon that would be a good thing. Only, you still planning on using your gun?"
"Not unless I have to. I can't put it away yet, son. Too many people have heard of me. I'd be a target. We all three would."
"Ma said she wished you'd put your guns away. Wait a minute, you killed a Dubs, were they kin to Dan and Butch and Jason?"
"It was their father."
"Oh man!"
"And they are partly why I can't put my guns up yet. Maybe someday I can."
Charlie stared at him seriously now, "Will you promise me that someday…you will?"
Cord stared into his young face. "I promise I'll try."
Charlie seemed to relax after that.
Cord let out a slow smile that spread across his face and lit his eyes. "I'm glad you feel that way. I wanted to talk to you about it first. Wanted to know if you had any objections to us being a family? A lot of people in this town don't like me Charlie. But, I care about you and your mother. I’m trying to set everyone straight on how it's gonna be, so we won't have any trouble. And after we are married, I'd like to officially adopt you as my son, so you'll have the same name."