"What's wrong?"
She smiled shyly at him. "I think this is the first time I've been proposed to."
He smiled into her warm brown eyes. "You've heard of mail-order brides, well, you could be one, only I wouldn't have to mail-order for you."
She fidgeted.
"I know it's not perfect…like some. But maybe we could grow into it."
"Grow into it?" She twisted her head. "That's a strange way of putting it."
"We've got a bond between us. You can't deny that. After all these years, it's still there I'd say more so than ever, and you know it."
She nodded. "No…I can't deny I don't care for you. But…it's just so sudden, so unexpected. I guess we do have a bond…"
"It's the only way I'm going to stay here Lilly. I won't live alone any longer. I've been alone too long. And I think you have too. We need each other."
"You don't waste much time, do you?" She tried to laugh it away.
"No…think about it, will you?" Cord asked.
He hadn't told her how he felt, and he knew that was wrong, but just asking her to wed was a big enough question. He didn't want to smother her with words he wasn't sure he could live up to. He had feelings for her, but he didn't know how deep they went. He didn't know if he could tell her he loved her and mean it forever. But those feelings ran deep and they'd been there a long time. He trusted her more than any woman he knew and he cared about her. He liked her kid too. That was enough to start a life together. But he saw her hesitation and some day he knew he'd have to commit his feelings one way or another for her.
"I'll think about it. Give me a little time, I wasn't expecting this…"
"Neither was I. But it came to me last night that together we could make a good life. Maybe we could make up for our old lives."
She smiled but her eyes weren't shining.
She wanted to hear words of love, like any other woman, but Cord didn't want to lie to her. He wanted to see where his feelings led him with her. He liked her, he liked kissing her. He felt something for her he just wasn't sure how deep it went yet. He wanted to help her, like he knew she could help him. Couldn't that be enough for them for now? Love might come naturally, in time.
It was a solution and right now, he thought it a grand idea.
But if she wouldn't marry him, he'd move on though. There would be nothing to keep him here. Nothing. Not even his mother's grave. He'd come back and visit off and on, but he wouldn't stay.
And if she accepted, she'd have to marry him without the words of love for now. One thing he knew, if he ever said them to her, he'd never walk away from her. Never!
However, the disappointment he saw in her face, had him restless and worried.
"Cord," She whispered. "What if we marry and months or years down the way, you decide you don't want this…what happens then?"
"If I commit to you, and you commit to me, then it will be forever. I may not go to church but I believe in the sacred vows. Right now, I feel like the three of us can make it as a family. And no man, not even Sam himself is going to come between us."
"You don't understand. Without loving each other it could turn out to be miserable." She cried. "For both of us."
"Do you have any feelings for me?" He asked, pulling her chin around so she looked him in the eyes.
She put her hands on her hips and smiled. "Cord, that's your place to say if you have any for me. You are the one asking me to marry."
He looked off, and his voice was gravely. "I love you in so many ways. I always have. I love your beautiful red hair, and your warm brown eyes. I love how you kiss me. I love that you are a strong woman, able to fend on your own. I love how you raised Charlie to be a good son. I love how you cared enough about my mother to come visit. But if you are asking if I love you…forever kind of love, I'm not sure yet. We've been apart a long while, both of us have changed to some degree. I love lots of things about you, the way you care for people, the way you handle your life. I know I'd be happy to come home to you every day, you and Charlie. I'd never hurt you. We could be a real family."
She smiled reflectively. "I think you might be one of the most honest men I know, Cord. And despite the disappointment, I know you are just being honest with me. I respect that. If you'd have said you loved me, so soon, I'd have known you were lying. I like that. I like that we can be honest with each other."
"We always could. You know that." He winked.
"But there is a lot to consider. However, I'm willing to consider it. So…let's just call ourselves engaged for the time being and see how things go. I mean, you've just come home. You haven't had any time to adjust to it all yet. It's a big step, especially if you intend staying married the rest of your life. I can't just say I'll marry you without talking to Charlie and see how he feels about it. He hardly knows you."
"That's true enough. And you're right, he needs to be included in this. And you've given me an answer. Charlie needs time to get to know me. Alright, we'll be engaged for a while, then if you don't want to make it permanent, I'll move on. How's that? No matter what happens, if I do move on, at some point, I'll deed the house to you. But as long as we are married, I'll take care of you and Charlie. And I'll never leave you, Lilly. You'd be my family. And as far as the unwed mother thing, you could tell people I'm Charlie's real father."