"I like them too."
"They are good people and that is why I chose them for you to live with until we married. And what do you think of your husband?" He asked boldly.
"You are a very handsome man." She said with a shy smile, "but of course, you must know that."
"It is good to know that I can please you in some way." He said a bit throatily.
His words startled her. "You please me in many ways." She added. She saw he was a bit moody, but then, so was she.
"It is hard to know what to say now." She said lowly. "When you brought me here, after fighting Big Knife for me, I was upset and didn't know what to think of anything. But now… I am not sure what I think still."
He rubbed the
top of her hand slowly with his thumb, "During the ceremony you seemed very solemn, but I suppose it is hard to know your own feelings after just losing the man you loved."
She bowed her head, wondering how she should respond to that. "Yes, I suppose you are right. But I'm married now and have to put that away from me. I am your wife, and I must respect that. And I have put it away, Black Wolf. Just as my father told me I should. My thoughts are not of him. Betrayal is something you don't overcome, but you do put it away before it poisons you. I will be an honorable wife to you and do your bidding. But, from time to time, I hope we can discuss the things you expect from me. For I cannot yet read your mind." She glanced at him shyly. "I do promise to be dutiful and respectful at all times. I will be your Shaman and will conduct myself with dedication to your tribe as they have honored me with a welcome."
He stared into her eyes, "And me?" he asked softly.
"You?" she swallowed hard.
"Do you wish to spend our time talking and getting to know one another while we are here?"
She bowed her head, again searching for the right answer. "I thought I was prepared for this, but I find myself shy and uncertain. I have come to like you, and respect you as my chief. But as a man, I do not know enough to answer you. I will be honest with you. Please, do not think I reject you, but I do want to get to know you better."
He smiled at her now, still rubbing the top of her hand. "You are a very wise woman, Sasha. And I respect that. But our coming together… It is for the man to do at first, but I hesitate not knowing if you want this now. I will never force myself on you. What I must know is, are you ready to be my wife in that way?"
She licked her lips, hungry for his kisses, and yet afraid of making a final commitment. What would it be like to be held in his strong arms and allow him to love her? And would he just simply take her and discard her until he was ready again? She did not know. Would her hesitation bring anger and resentment? They were married now and choosing was not an option.
She thought of what Naomie and Big Knife had done, and how Naomie had so enjoyed it. But Black Wolf had already said it was love that made it good. Could she love him?
Never being with a man made it more awkward.
Then suddenly, she looked into his eyes, "I have no idea, how… "
He nodded slowly, his eyes gleaming into hers.
"I had guessed that. And I am happy, you honor me. But I must know, do you want me to make love to you Sasha?" He asked not taking his eyes from hers. "It is not something to be afraid of… " He began. "The first time for a woman it is important to make her feel comfortable and welcome her soul as we become one. I should tell you that a long time ago my parents sent me to the missions, to learn English, and the bible. I believe in the bible and taught my parents what I knew of it. I believe in one woman for one man. A man leaves his mother and father behind to be joined to the one woman he will cherish for the rest of his life. That is what I believe. But not knowing much about me, it is for you to decide if you want to begin our time together. I understand your hesitation in more ways than one. I will not recent or be angered by your answer, Sasha. All I expect from you right now is the truth."
He moved closer now, deliberately trying not to startle her. "Making love is not just a physical thing, Sasha. But we will not be one, until we do. A marriage can never be complete until we consummate that marriage."
"I too went to the mission school as a child. And like you I read the bible. It was hard to understand but I believe only in one man and one woman as man and wife. I understand that leaving your parents behind, you pledge yourself to one another. But I ask for your patience."
He nodded, but she saw the light go out in his eyes and almost regretted her words. "I will have patience," He smiled at her now. "Good, we have that in common. I am glad."
"Yes, it is a start. But I must be honest, I know nothing of making love. I might displease you or disappoint you as I am not well versed in that."
"No, but I'm sure you've seen animals."
"Yes, of course. You forget, I saw Naomie and Big Knife make love. And I must tell you, although it shames me to admit it. I watched them make love. I saw the difference in liking and loving. And I want the loving relationship, still, it is too soon for you and me."
"People are different, love comes from the heart. Otherwise it is what the whites call sex. And I do not believe having sex can fulfill any man's or woman's dreams. So I will wait until you decide what you want."
She let her jaw relax and stared at him. "Oh," she cried as he lifted her hair and kissed her on the neck Goosebumps went all over her from that kiss.
"You smell nice." He murmured.
"Do I?" she barely whispered.