That night as she laid down to sleep, she contemplated her future. The kiss had thrown her, but his words had touched her heart. All day he'd been such a perfect gentleman, never touching anything but her hand. Then the kiss, so unexpected, and worse still, she'd responded. How could she have done such a thing?
She knew the answer to that, and it scared her a little, he was a very good kisser.
The fact that she had little to compare with shocked her too. In truth, Big Knife never kissed her like that. She shouldn't compare them, but she could not help herself. When she thought about Big Knife, she realized that they had very few kisses between them. Mostly words, but few kisses. He did not compliment her either, which at times disappointed her greatly. It was not right for her to compare the two men, as she had loved Big Knife. But there were many differences in them.
She thought about that. Although Naomie was much prettier, it was her he was marrying. Wasn't it? Every time Naomie came to mind now, she fitted her to Big Knife. Had they had a relationship too? Did he kiss her with much feeling? For her kisses with Big Knife had been nothing like the way Black Wolf kissed her. Still, Big Knife had much respect for her father and probably didn't want to offend. She realized early on, not many would boldly ask for her hand as she was the chief's daughter.
She could only guess the relationship between Naomie and Big Knife, and she refused to dwell on it.
How could she explain something so tender and sweet as the kiss that Black Wolf gave her? She hadn't expected Black Wolf to be tender or sweet. Truth was, she hadn't expected to be kissed at all. But the biggest shock hit her square in the head, she'd kissed him back!
How could she do such a thing? She loved Big Knife, didn't she? Why did she keep asking herself this question?
Of course she did! Or had she only become comfortable with him? It was a question that needed answers. Comfortable was the answer. For she had known him so long.
But the way Naomie had spoken of Big Knife was different. She wished she didn't doubt so much.
She'd planned on being true to Big Knife for the rest of her life. Now she was suddenly thrown at a man, she barely knew, and he was kissing her like there was no tomorrow. Still, she had to admit, she'd never been complimented so much either. She enjoyed it.
She had to run away. She could not marry this man! Not that he wasn't a good man, but she didn't love him.
And halfway through the night, she snuck out and took one of the horses, walking it out of the camp so as not to be discovered. The Arapaho camp wasn't that far away. But as she approached the camp, it was very quiet.
She went into her father's tepee and woke him. "Father, how are you my father." She smiled as he woke up.
"Sasha, what are you doing here?"
"I do not belong in their camp. I am so confused."
"He has earned your hand in marriage. Has he mistreated you?"
"No, of course not." Sasha shook her head.
"Then why are you confused, daughter?"
"I do not love him, father."
Her father looked at her. "Sasha you are a chief's daughter and it is more fitting for you to marry Black Wolf than Big Knife."
"But I do not know him."
"The unfamiliar will become familiar in time. You must go back to him and honor him, as he has honored you."
"How can you send me away?" she cried.
Her father looked deeply into her eyes. "It is the law of our people. He challenged Big Knife. He won. Now go and learn his ways and be a good wife. For your marriage will bring a peace between the tribes."
"Even though my heart is here with Big Knife?" she cried.
"That will simmer in time child. Big Knife has not been completely honest with you."
"How can you say that?"
"Because the minute you left. His eyes were on Naomie. And they still are. I think he has deceived us both. For he does not act like he misses you."
"It can't be true. He asked me to wed."
"Open your eyes dear one. Big Knife seeks war against the blue coats. He has tried to raise a tribe of his own already. I no longer trust him. And you should not either."