"Yes, very much," she stared at him now.
"He was a known southern sympathizer during the war between the states. He often spied for the confederate army. His wife had a grand house in the south and they moved there. He was on a spy mission, when the yanks came to their home. They didn't know there was anyone in the house, it was dark, and they knew he was not there, and they torched it. His wife and little girl died in the fire."
Lissa's mouth flew open, tears came into her eyes as she stared at Moon. "My God! They didn't take time to even look?"
"No, in this big war, it was often done in a rush to move on to new territory." He saw how effected she was, he saw the tears that didn't fall, and was amazed that she could feel so deeply for someone she didn't know. "Jack never really talks about it. He told me after I'd been living with him a while. He never remarried. He carries a picture of them to this day. He loved them truly."
"To love someone that deeply and lose them like that, is very hard to get over." She spoke with a sadness.
"You speak as though you have been through it yourself."
She nodded sadly, "When my mother died."
"I am sorry."
"When she died, I was twelve, and I went on living, but I felt dead inside for a long time. I don't ever what to feel that way again. It took two years to get over it, and it stills stays in my heart. We were very close, especially after my real father died."
Her glance drifted over his powerful arms and lean build. She shouldn't be looking, but he had turned away, he didn't see her staring. She remembered what it felt like being in his arms. She didn't want to remember, but it was there in her heart. She remembered the kiss too. Too well in fact. It warmed her to her toes. She'd never been kissed so thoroughly in her life. She remembered Earl's sloppy whiskey kisses and grimaced. Such a difference in the two men.
Talking about her mother now, seemed like good therapy for her. She hadn't had anyone to confide in for years.
She couldn't help but think of the kiss again. She mused that it was the first time anyone had kissed her that she enjoyed it. Realizing too, that she was a participant made her think on it more. She'd been told many times she wasn't a good kisser. But most of the kisses she'd had were planned and announced and she probably either tried too hard or not enough. Still, the reaction of the men that kissed her were not impressive.
She'd always been afraid to care about anyone after her mother died, and she knew why. She never wanted to hurt from losing someone she loved. It was unreasonable, but it was her thinking. But she wouldn't soon forget the kiss, even though it wasn't
wise. It was strange that Moon didn't comment on it. Most men did comment that she had no reaction to them. He seemed startled she'd responded at all.
"Did I kiss alright?" she asked awkwardly.
"What?" he turned around and looked at her his face almost angry.
"Well," she felt uncomfortable now, talking about it. Obviously, Moon didn't want to talk about that kiss any longer. "I'm sorry Moon. I mean, most of the men I've kissed never acted as though they wanted another. Your kiss was different. I wondered if it was me, or you or just the circumstance. It is something I am not educated in. I feel dumb about it. Does that make sense."
"It was fine, I thought we'd settled it."
"Then obviously, I didn't impress you either. There is something very wrong with me. I can't even do that right."
He put the snake off the fire but close where it would stay warm. Then he whirled around to stare into her innocent face. "If you are asking if I enjoyed it, then yes, I did."
She smiled, "Really?"
"I thought we'd settled this discussion once and for all. I'm getting some strange sensations from this kiss thing. You act as though you are a stranger to it. And yet when I kissed you, you responded with a fire, as though you knew exactly what you were doing."
"I did?" she smiled her heart thumped hard in her chest? He would never know how much she appreciated what he said. How could he?
Then he realized her real innocence, she'd never enjoyed a kiss before. Strange for a woman of her beauty not to know about such a thing.
"Let's eat!" he told her.
She couldn't allow herself to like Moon too much. She realized what came from caring. It hurt when a loved one was lost. Hurt so bad. Still, how did one not care when someone took care of you. No one had done that for her since she was twelve and her mother died. "I hate to leave you sweetheart," her mother had told her.
"Are you going somewhere, Mama?" Lissa had asked.
"Yes darling, a place you cannot go right now. But one day we'll be together again."
"Oh Mama, don't leave me!" she had cried.
But three days later her mother was dead, and so was all the love that she'd ever known.