That night as she laid her head down she watched him for a long time. He sharpened his knives, then laid down. She could not deny he was handsome. Perhaps the most handsome man she'd ever seen. He had muscles and was very strong. But his face intrigued her too. When he smiled, it was like letting sunshine inside. Strange, but every day she grew closer to this man.
"W-what would happen if I wanted to stay your slave…" she asked in the darkness.
He did not answer at first and then he said quietly, "The only way you can stay is as my wife. If I take a wife, you must leave, as I cannot worry my wife with you."
"I don't understand…"
"In time you will… " he said through the darkness.
One day, she was on the edge of the village and she thought about running away. But why should she, he was going to let her go in the spring. She was debating whether she should run away or stay when a bobcat spotted her from a high tree limb. He screeched out at her and she froze when she saw the powerful jaws of the cat.
She'd never been this close to a cat before. The way he growled, and screeched, terrified her.
"Go away," she barely uttered.
She swallowed hard and didn't know whether to run or stand still. But she couldn't have run, as her legs were unable to move.
Sweat poured off her as the cat looked menacing at her. He screeched again, and she felt her heart pounding in her chest. Was this the end? To be killed by a cat?
She had to run, she had to move. But she could not.
Just as she picked up her legs and began to move, the cat hollered louder, and something whizzed by her head. She looked up at the cat and he fell to the ground.
She glanced around her and Lone Wolf was only a few steps behind her. She looked at the cat and saw the arrow sticking out of his middle.
Without thinking she ran into his arms, clutching him, she tried to catch her breath. She raised her head finally and looked into his eyes. Something shocked her even more. For the first time in her life, she wished this man, this Indian would look at her as something other than just a slave. She secretly wished, he'd kiss
her. It was a strange kind of wanting. She never remembered anyone she wanted to kiss her, except maybe her father, when she was little. But even he did not. She wondered for years if there was something wrong with her, why no one would show her affection. Perhaps there was something wrong. Perhaps they saw something evil within her like Luki.
He did not kiss her. Instead his fingers lifted her chin and he smiled into her shocked face, "Do not wander from camp, as there are many dangers out here."
The feel of his touch sent ripples of awareness through her, that startled her. His touch was so gentle, his smile so understanding. Compassion was what it was called. That too she had missed for so long. How could this man of such strength and wisdom show such compassion for her?
He had saved her from the cat. So why did she have these feelings racing through her. She didn't understand it. Liam had touched her a dozen times intimately and it did nothing. Lone Wolf's touch was so different. She didn't understand why, she only knew it was.
She stared for a long moment into his eyes. Then finally she found her voice, "Thank you, I won't wander far…"
"Good," he smiled and walked away as though unscathed from being so close to her.
She knew then there had to be something about herself that kept people at such a distance. Before it didn't bother her, because before she felt nothing either.
What was it she lacked? Liam had said she was not a good lover. Men resisted her easily. And yet, she felt something just now, for the first time in her life, and it scared her witless, for it wasn't mutual and she knew that.
She wished she had someone to talk to about Lone Wolf. But it would take some time to become friends with the women, and she dare not talk to them about feelings.
So, these new feelings she felt growing between her and Lone Wolf would have to stay buried, as she knew not what to do about them. If she were unmarried, it might be different, but she couldn't forget.
She knew one thing, if white people found her here, among these Indians they would take her back to Liam. She was sure of that. And just as sure that she didn't want to go. Liam might kill her for being here in an Indian camp. According to Liam women were supposed to kill themselves before they let an Indian take them.
So, when nightfall came, she cried softly into her blanket.
If Lone Wolf heard her, he didn't not say.
Life went on in the Indian camp. The women came to chat with her now and they would giggle and talk of men, but she held back because it dawned on her that they could resent her for liking Lone Wolf. Maybe time would solve it all. But right now, she was too new to them and them to her.
Three weeks had passed, and she made friends with Black Feather, Little Feather, and White Dove. She knew Little Feather desired Lone Wolf, so she could not speak up about him around her.
They taught her to say a few Indians words and it pleased her. She was surprised to find Black Feather spoke English, but like Lone Wolf she had gone to the mission schools.