"You are right, you are married to him by law, not by love."
Once more her head dropped, "Yes… "
"How do you say 'friend' in Arapaho?" She suddenly asked.
"Beiteh'el."
She repeated it. He nodded.
"Then we shall be Beiteh'el." She smiled at him.
He stared for a long time.
"You are nebii'o'oo." He murmured softly.
She wondered what it meant, but the way he turned away when he said it, made her think it was something much different. Perhaps one day she would know what that meant.
She repeated it in her head many times so maybe someday she would know…
Chapter Seven
That evening around the camp fire, Lone Wolf became very quiet. He stared into the fire for a long time. Hannah watched him, wondering if something was bothering him. His face looked so serious.
Hannah watched him, "Is something wrong?"
"No, not wrong. Just thinking on how to explain that I will not marry Luki to my father. And when I take you into the camp, they will expect it is to marry you, and you will not marry me. It is complicated. I do not honor my father's wishes."
"Don't you think you could teach Luki to love… "
"No," he looked at her strangely. "Love is not something you teach, it is something you feel. Could you teach your white husband to love? Love is not part of her, nor him. She would never be a part of my life. Her beauty is in herself, not her heart. You cannot change that. You cannot teach what is not there."
"Then why not one of your own tribe?" she asked. "Surely there is someone that would be a good mate for you."
"There is, but my heart is not with them. Little Feather would make a good wife, but I do not feel the love that I should for her. I would do her an injustice to suggest it. I think too much of her to hurt her in that way. I have looked upon them all, but none stir my heart to passion. My mother and my father loved each other." He sought her attention. "Even though she was white, when she finally gave her heart to my father, it was like no other in the camp. When she lay dying, she recalled the good times of their marriage. She never held it against him that he captured her. She said, 'he captured my heart'. She never held it against him that he made her his slave first. Their love was true. It came from the heart. I cannot seem to find that kind of love. And it is the only life I want with a woman. A woman that would stand beside me, work with me, live with me, be my woman and only my woman." He murmured, as though talking to himself. "For I too would not share her."
Hannah's eyes widened. "I have never seen that kind of love… " she whispered.
He glanced at her, "No?"
"No. I never thought it existed." She said and stared into the fire too now. "I do not think many see that kind of love. If so, it would be everywhere. What you seek is hard to find. Even my folks, they did not love like that. My mother had five children, but she was empty."
"Then you
were not brought up with love?"
"No…"
"Love comes from the heart, from happiness that spills over. It makes all life worthwhile. I have seen it in my father for my mother, in my friend Deer Runner for his wife, Black Feather. It is possible, but it must be sought after."
"Do you… seek it?" she asked and stole a quick glance.
"Yes, for it lasts for eternity. And it is better than anything, aside from heaven." He smiled with understanding. "Tomorrow I will take you to my camp."
She stared, "You will tell me what I must do, then?"
He glanced at her, "What you will do, is simple. You will work in the village, live in the village. You must show your courage and my people will embrace you. Until then, you will struggle. But you will not be hurt, I won't allow it."
"How do I show my courage?"