Here in the dark night, she could open her heart and admit it. For no one would know. She had loved him for two years. It had taken those two years to come to this point.
It was forbidden love. She knew it then, she knew it now.
Refuting the word forbidden, she reasoned, true love could never be ugly. It was only ugly in other's minds.
She stripped her clothes off feeling the cool wind touch her body, like a caress. She was aware of herself more these days.
Before with her husband, she never looked at herself, never saw herself as a beautiful woman. Never felt beautiful. Harold never told her she was beautiful. She was merely a woman, and that was all.
Now, her spirit was uplifted, a confidence began to take hold of her.
She was a good mother, and a good person.
She closed her eyes and dreamed of Hawk touching her. Sighing she went into the water, it was cold and her nipples hardened from the chilly waters. It was invigorating. She wrapped her arms around herself at first to warm her.
Looking down at herself, in the reflection on the water, she realized how erotic it seemed to bath in the waters completely nude. Usually she kept her underclothes on, but it had been a while since she last bathed and she wanted to scrub herself clean. Besides, her children were asleep and no one would see.
She swam out but not far, she stood up and her breasts floated just above the water's edge. Her breasts were small, and stood more pronounced than most. She was slim but curvy too. She saw her curves reflected in the water, and smiled. She never until this moment realized how womanly she looked. To look upon herself like this seemed strange, yet encouraging too. Harold had never told her she was pretty, or desirable. She'd never allowed herself to think it. Their lovemaking was nothing more than his pleasure. She sighed pushing the memory of him away from her. She was no longer that woman, and she knew it. She could not erase the seven years she had been with Harold, but she could put the memories away. Most of the memories were not good ones.
It was time to forgive herself for not loving her husband too. He had been mean to her and the children, he didn't deserve their love.
She unbraided her blonde hair and let it fall over her shoulders like a curtain. She took the soap and began rubbing herself with it. The scent of it was clean and she inhaled it.
She closed her eyes as she circled her breasts with her hands, dreaming of Hawk doing just that.
When she opened them, he stood before her, staring at her with a heated glance. He wore no shirt now, and his chest gleamed in the moonlight.
"First, tell me I am welcome." His voice was low, seductive.
She stared at him for a long moment, and then her hand reached to touch his gently. "You are welcome," She smiled at him, not ashamed to have him look at her.
He knew her body better than any man, why should she be ashamed for him to look upon her.
"Now… tell me you want me here…"
He came closer, and her eyes were glued to his magnificent chest. Her hands itched to touch him there.
"I'm glad you've come…" She breath was like a breathless caress.
"Now tell me, you want me as much as I want you."
"It's probably not wise, or right, but…I do want you."
He smiled and touched his lips to her. She opened her mouth and let him in. His tongue mated with hers, slowly. He raised his head.
She searched his face, "The first time, you had to claim me, I know that…but now…it's a choice…for both of us. I know what we're doing is probably wrong…we're crossing barriers we shouldn't. But it seems to me…we've already chosen our path."
He smiled for her. "You are right, we have."
"I must know…is it merely because I'm a woman and you are a man?" She asked breathlessly.
"No," He shook his head and a slight smile curved his lips, as he reached to touch her cheek. She laid her head against his hand, closing her eyes. "The first time was to save you. This time is to love you and claim you."
Her eyes opened and she stared.
"You have given me something I never thought I'd have. What we did for survival back there, we do for love now."
"Yes." His eyes searched hers.