"Have you protected many?" She asked, propping on an elbow to look at him.
"No!"
"Should I ask why?"
"No." He said more softly.
With that admission, she shut up and merely stared. However, she couldn't stop her eyes from traveling him, nor his from traveling her. They looked upon each other differently now. Familiar and yet strangers.
Her heart hammered against her chest.
It was obvious they were going to have to camp now. The kids were sound asleep. She was exhausted. Before he laid his head down to sleep he opened his eyes and saw her staring. "If we run into any more Indians, you must act like my woman. It is for your safety. Do you understand?"
"Yes…I do." She nodded and closed her eyes. "And I apologize…"
"For what…liking it?" He smiled once more, with understanding.
"To be honest…yes!" She said and turned over so he couldn't see he
r embarrassment.
His words curled around her. "So did I…"
Perhaps she was beginning to understand. His words made her heart thunder.
Yet when he looked at her, all of her, his loins ached, and he understood. Eve Dawson was a remarkable woman.
He put it away from him and went to sleep.
The next morning he was up before anyone. He had tackled a wild boar and brought it back, skinned and ready to eat.
Eve was impressed with his skill and delighted that they had more meat. They needed it to keep them all strong. The exhaustion they felt yesterday was gone as soon as they ate.
Jane Ann went up to Hawk now and politely sat in his lap while she ate. Eve was shocked that even Jane Ann seemed to sense his protectiveness. Or was it something else? He was a father figure, even though he was not their father. He offered more than their real father ever had, even in such a short time. Hawk accepted Jane Ann into his arms, easily enough. Harold never coddled his children, not even Jane Ann. Children needed love, from both their parents, Eve had reasoned.
Eve couldn't believe that both her children accepted Hawk so easily. Obviously, Jane Ann didn't realize he was Indian, but Matthew did.
As her thoughts turned to her and him, she realized that his being Indian had been the last thing on her mind too when he made love to her. She blushed and he saw it.
Dear God, he knew what she'd been thinking.
She raised her nose to the air and tried her best not to think of that again for the rest of the day.
They reached the burned out cabin by noon and the charred remains sickened Eve. She walked about, trying to find anything of her previous life. But nothing was left. Staring at Harold's grave, she realized it might be best this way.
"Nothing's left of the place except the cellar and the barn." She cried the finality of it.
He nodded. "I'm sorry. Had I been around that morning, it would never have happened."
"How would you have fought them off? There were too many. You'd have been killed."
"I would not fight them, just distract them."
She stared at him as he busied himself with his pack.
She went to the gravesites. She stared at them with tears in her eyes. Matthew followed and held her hand while she stared at her babies graves.
"We'll see them again, Ma. When we get to heaven. I just know it."