He did not expect her to participate. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but not the beauty of a woman discovering herself.
He could not think on that right now. What he had to think about was getting her and the baby free. He'd worry about the repercussion of what he'd done later.
Still, it lingered on a slow fire in his heart. What they shared made him stronger somehow.
Matthew had displayed emotion in seeing him today and it confused him further. Why did these white people care about him? Why? He did not understand. He meant to protect them, but not with his emotions. He had to separate his emotions from his duty. Still it was impossible to do so.
"Was Ma and Jane Ann all right?" Matthew asked when they stopped to eat a bite of jerky.
"Yes, so far. But I must hurry and return, or they won't be." He told him.
"How come you are taking care of us?" Matthew asked, as he stared at him. "I mean, you’re an Indian, aren't you?"
"The weak must always be taken care of by the strong." Hawk told him.
"We aren't weak!" Matthew argued.
Hawk smiled.
"You've been watchin' out for us for a long time now. How come?" Matthew asked.
Hawk shrugged. "Who told you that?"
"Ma! She said you are a good person for watching after us so long…"
"She is a wise woman…"
"My Pa…he hurt her a lot. She tried to hide it, but he hurt her. She lost two babies because he was so mean…" Matthew stared at Hawk now. "I saw it when he threw her across the cabin, the last time. She cried forever, and there was blood everywhere. Pa was drunk and he just left her there. I had to help her as best I could, then I ran to get a neighbor and she came to help her."
"I have seen the graves…I am sorry, but he was her husband, I could not interfere with that."
"No sir, I don't reckon you could. Did you know my Pa?"
"No…I saw him when I first came, and I saw how mean he was too. He drank too much." Hawk eyed Matthew. "Many times I almost came to you, but it would not be right to interfere."
"Do you have a wife?" Matthew asked. "Or a family?"
"No…"
"Why not?"
"My tribe is very far away. I was young when I left them. I would not be welcomed now. As I have fought with the blue coats
. Many of the young warriors of my tribe joined them. Many were outcast."
"That is sad that you have no family…." Matthew reasoned. "You could be part of our family."
Hawk almost laughed. "I am Indian, you are white. The two do not mix."
"Why not?" Matthew asked. "You live near us all the time, you watch over us. We like you. Why couldn't we be your family?"
Hawk didn't want to think about it. He'd never let his emotions govern him and what Matthew suggested was out of the question, although, things had changed, whether he liked those changes or not. He had made love to the woman. She was his. It was too complicated to consider. Surely, the white woman was sorry for her actions. She would never fall in love with him. It had to be nothing more than animal lust. That's what he told himself, but he didn't believe it.
Still, what they shared was not lust. She'd been so strong those two years, taking the beatings from her husband, keeping her children safe from harm. He could not see her submitting so easily. Had it merely been lust, he would have simply taken her and she wouldn't have let him without a fight. No, it was not lust on either of their parts. They had made love. He knew this. Now he understood. Whether she would admit it or not, she had some kind of feelings for him, the same kind of feelings he had for her.
But the two do not mix!
He couldn’t think straight right now, all he could think about was saving her and the baby.