“You’re a fool…” she mouthed and walked away. “Fire! You could have me, all of me, ain’t it enough? Look at me! I’m a fine figure of a woman, just like you said. You could feel me up anytime you wanted, I wouldn’t care. I told you how much I enjoy it. I’ve shared my deepest secrets with you, offered you all I have. What more can I do?” She turned to face him once more. “Fire, you sound like a crazy man. Fire, who needs fire? Life ain’t about fire, Sam. It’s about scratchin’ out a livin’ in this God forsaken land, havin’ younins’ and makin’ it. But I’ve offered you everything I have. You must be nine kinds of fool.”
The kids had gone to fetch water once more and given them some time alone, time Tate had said they needed. Riley nodded numbly and followed him.
“Look Mavis, I’m afraid you loved your husband and trying to replace him with the first fella that comes along ain’t gonna work. It ain’t fair to the man, Mavis. You obviously had something between you,” Sam informed her as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “And to tell the truth, that’s as it should be. But just because I’m a Negro man, and you’re a Negro woman don’t mean we can team up and marry. I wouldn’t cheat you, nor myself.”
“‘Course I loved him,” she snapped with a tear in her eye. “He was my man. He loved me, all of me. I’m loyal as I can be. And I can’t forget him no matter how hard I try. He was lazy and no account, but when we made love I forgot all those things about him. He tried to defend us the best he could. He helped me bri
ng those kids into the world. He was a good man. But I’d still let you have your way as often as you pleased. I’d stay in the bed if you wanted me there. I’d kiss you mornin’, noon and night. We could make love all you wanted. I’m offerin’ you that. All of me. And in time I’m sure I’d learn to love you.”
“But you don’t love me…”
“I could learn to. Takes time sometimes,” Mavis cried. Then glancing at him, she firmed her lips. “A man talkin’ about love. I don’t believe it. There’s someone else somewhere for ya, isn’t there?”
“I don’t know about that, but there just ain’t nothin’ between you and me. And believe me, I wish there was. I really do. But I can’t lie to myself. Besides, there’s nothing in your kisses, Mavis. It’s like you died with him. There’s just no fire. And I sure tried to light one.”
Mavis looked down now, not facing him. “I guess you’re right. I don’t like that you’re right, but I guess you are. ‘Cause I just know you’d be so gentle with me. And a woman wants gentle as she gets older. But Sam, I know you are a good man. Or you wouldn’t be helping that poor white kid. I could learn to love you…someday. And in the meantime I could give you what you need. All of what you need, Sam. You should think on that. You know that. I got a set of breasts you could lay your head on every night and I know you’d enjoy that. I seen you lookin’ at me, from the moment you met me you been lookin’. I take care of myself; I’m a right good lookin’ woman, Sam. You couldn’t do much better.”
Sam shook his head. “I would enjoy it, Mavis. Just thinkin’ on it is somethin’. But, it ain’t enough. Not for me. I want it all, Mavis. Love and family. I don’t want a woman who will learn to love me, I want one who does. I want her to feel for me, like I feel for her.”
“I’ll give you my body now if you stay, ain’t that enough? It sure would be for most men I’ve known. You can have me anytime you want. We don’t even have to get married if you don’t want. I got a fine body ‘neath these clothes and I think you’ve noticed that, already. I seen you lookin’ at me. Why…I’d pull the wagon over and make love all day if you wanted me to. Even in front of these kids. They knows all about that. Just help me bring up them kids and make a few more along the way. Maybe after we made a kid, you’d want to stay with me. Maybe I could love you then…”
Sam looked away. “I guess I should appreciate that kind of offer, and as lonely as it gets, that’s a tempting offer to have a woman any time I want. But I want more than that. I want a woman’s heart and soul. And Mavis…if I had that, even one time would be enough.”
Sam shook his head again, and smiled coming up to her, his hand going to her cheek now where a single tear rolled down. “When a man takes a woman, he wants to know she feels somethin’ for him. And cold kisses don’t make up for warm hearts. It wouldn’t work with you and me, Mavis, and I think deep down you know that.”
Mavis stared at him. “I guess you’re right. People can’t fall in love that easily, can they? Although I am trying, for my kid’s sake. They need a daddy, and in this unforgiving land a man to take care of them. I’d do just about anything for that.”
Sam squirmed for he’d been asking that same question for himself. “Yeah, but it ain’t a thing you can force, Mavis, remember that. Any man that comes along isn’t good enough. He’s got to be for you.”
“You’re right, I guess you can’t. I did try, but I guess it was too soon…But runnin’ off with that white kid, helpin’ him. What good does that do ya? I don’t understand that at all. Let some white man help him.”
“You’re a tempting woman, Mavis, but my mind is made up.” Sam smiled at her. “If that’s any consolation.”
“Am I…tempting?” She smiled. “Then if you change your mind, you know where to find me…”
“I do…and thanks for the open offer.” Sam laughed as the children came back. “I’ll remember the invite.”
He kissed her on the cheek. She smiled. “You won’t forget?”
“Not likely. A man don’t forget somethin’ like that.”
Riley walked past Sam without a word.
“Well Riley, I guess we’d best be on our way now,” Sam said as he looked at her in the distance.
Riley’s head came up and her eyes locked on Sam. Color rushed to her cheeks and Sam’s insides lit up like a firecracker. He knew he shouldn’t feel like this about Riley, but he knew now…he did.
Chapter Nine
Yet even as they pulled away from the wagon and headed for Dallas, the strain between Sam and Riley grew tighter. What he felt for Riley was deeper, more solid than anything he could ever feel for a woman like Mavis. Yet telling Riley was something he knew he shouldn’t do. Complicating her life with feelings and emotions might set things off that needed tending to. No, he’d have to wait and see if there was ever room for such an admission.
Nodog seemed to finally relax for the first time in days. In some ways Sam wanted to tell her how he felt, but if he could prevent himself he would, for her sake. After all, loving a black man would be ever so hard on a white lady.
Still in the still of the night, hearing her breathing and resting he so wanted to turn her over, pull her close and join his lips to hers, confirming what she seemed to already know about them.
As they came in sight of Dallas, Riley glanced over at him; she seemed to think about her words before she spoke. “I got money for us to get some rooms and stay at a hotel ‘til this is over, if you like.”
“Alright, that’s a good idea. Now, have you figured out what you are gonna tell them?”