“Leon, we should probably—”
“Put you up on the counter, tear your jeans off, and spread your legs so your feet are on my shoulders and I can eat my fill of your delicious, beautiful pussy?”
Oh. My. Sweet. Smokies. With mustard.
“Okay,” I murmur helplessly.
This doesn’t feel like using sex to fix things. Or not talk about things. I mean, we talked, and we worked things out, but I’m still worried about going back to the city. I still feel like what we have is so fragile and precious and could be ripped away, leaving us both barren and heartbroken, but I also know that trust needs to be built up, and I won’t do that by trying to protect myself from potential pain. If I’m going for it, then I’m going for it.
And I was going for it the minute I told Leon that I’d fake marry him.
Andprobably way before that too.
17
LEON
Darby drives us back to the city. Halfway there, despite the shower that I had before we left to relax me more than to clean me, and the lingering taste of her on my lips after I devoured her on the kitchen counter, I’m already feeling a stress headache coming on.
I close my eyes behind the dark lenses of the aviator sunglasses I’m wearing. Darby might be driving, but she’s apparently also watching me. “Are you okay?”
If anyone else asked me that question, it would be annoying. With her, for some reason, it’s not nearly as bad as it was when we first got to her cabin. I only have to briefly debate lying before I tell her the real deal. “I’m good. Just a background headache.”
I can hear her hands tightening on the wheel. It makes a squeaky rubbery sound.
“I know you like classical music. Do you want me to put something on?”
I could do it since my phone is connected to the car, but I’m interested to see what Darby chooses. What does she think I like? And how the heck does she even know that I like classical? Perhaps it’s because I left the car tuned to a radio station one day, and when she went to take it for cleaning, she made a mental note and filed that information away for later, for instances like right now?
My phone is sitting on the middle console in one of the empty cupholders, and she reaches over and takes it. Before I can protest about her driving and fiddling with things, she has my favorite symphony drifting through the car’s speakers. It cuts through the angry buzzing in my brain and the anxiety in my gut, calming the thundering of my heart.
Again, I want to ask her how she knew, but it feels nice to close my eyes while the music does nice, peaceful things to me. The silence outside of it is a rare treat, and I’m content to just sit here.
I don’t realize I’m sucked under until Darby’s hand is on my shoulder, pulling me from sleep. I blink, and I’m not staring down the endless highway anymore. No, I’m looking at my garage door.
“Gah.” I swiped my mouth immediately to make sure I didn’t drool. My next thought is about snoring. I don’t know what it is about Darby, but she makes it possible to sleep around her. It’s a first in my life. These past few days, the restful periods were utter blackness. No dreams. No nightmares. No pain. No waking up constantly. No struggling to fall asleep in the first place, and no filling the night hours with work because at least it’s something to do. Just. Rest.
I lean over and punch the garage door button on the visor above Darby’s head. “You can park it inside. I’ll take a cab to the appointment.”
She turns and looks at me funny. “Uh, you don’t want me to drive you?” She’s trying really hard to keep her voice neutral, but I know that I just borderline hurt her.
“It’s probably going to take hours.”
“That’s okay. I don’t mind. I can take your car and clean it, even if it is pretty much spotless already. I can also get some more of those coffee beans you love. Or do other errands. I’m good. You don’t have to worry about me.”
I can tell she really, really wants to take me, and not just because she’s worried that I’m lying about going in the first place and wants to see me walk in through the front door herself. I’m an ass, though, and I find it hard to deviate from my general asshole behavior.
I’m also worried that if Darby takes me, there’s room for negotiation, and I don’t want to talk myself out of this.
“You should take a cab home.” I eject myself out the side door as soon as we’re in the garage, the door closing shut behind us. “I’ll pay.”
She’s right behind me, opening the car’s trunk to get our bags, frowning at me with a true frowny frown. “I could wait for you here. Don’t you want to have someone to come home to after?”
Yes! I do. What the heck is wrong with me? It’s only been a few days, eejit, and you’re already addicted to her. Nice. Have you forgotten that she’s not for you?“No need. It’ll probably take days to get the results.”
“Even so…”
“Darby, look. I don’t want to fight about this. I’m getting a wicked headache again.” It’s not fair to put that on her, and when she immediately presses her lips into a pucker to keep in whatever she was going to say, I feel like a regular douchecanoe. Nate was right spot on with that label. I can’t stand her sad puppy dog eyes, so I shoulder past her into the house. I drop my bag as soon as I get in. “I’m going to change.” Then, I leave her there in an unfamiliar house. My house.