After I find her name in a very brief contact list, I take his phone and exit the bedroom. I sit outside on the front step. The night is silent and still. There’s no breeze, so it’s hot and sticky. The moon is bright over the lake. The yard is dark, but the water glistens, and the dock and boat complete the idyllic lake life picture. It’s so peaceful and nice out here, just the way I love it, but right now, I feel scared and alone and chilled down to the bone in a way the warm night won’t touch.
I dial Kitty’s number and wait. Lucky for me, she picks up on the first ring.
“Leon! What’s up?”
“It’s actually Darby.”
Kitty actually gasps. “Darby? Leon let you use his phone?” Her incredulous tone tells me what I already know about him being an intensely private person.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that he let me. He uh…he doesn’t know I’m calling you. I’m outside. I—something’s happening. He’s really sick. He’s in bed right now, and honestly, I don’t know if he’s sleeping or passed out, but I think he’s in a lot of pain. He won’t tell me what’s wrong, and he won’t let me take him to a hospital.”
“Fuck, shit, fuck,” Kitty curses. That’s probably more curse words than I’ve ever heard strung together before. I guess I’m kind of sheltered. “I’m coming over,” she says.
“We’re at my family’s cabin. In the middle of nowhere.”
Another string of curses. “I know,” she responds. “I told him that he should have told you about this. He was acting funny already when I was at his house yesterday. I…I’ll still be there. How far are you?”
“An hour and a half, just about, but that’s after you get out of the city.”
“If you give me the address and directions, I’ll find it.”
“It’s really hard to find. And there are gravel roads.”
“I’m fine. I’ll be okay. I’m tough. We both are. But Leon…he—he’s going to be okay. It’s just a migraine. I think. They can be really bad.”
I want to ask her a thousand questions, but I don’t want to delay her getting here. We’ll talk in person instead. I’ll feel better when I’m not alone and when I know how to make Leon feel better. That’s what I want. I would do anything to stop whatever pain he’s in, and I know it must be bad. I want to protect him. I want to keep him safe.
“I’ll wait outside for you,” I tell Kitty. “I’ll keep Leon’s phone on. It’s fully charged. Call me if you get lost or can’t find me or for any other reason.”
“Darby?”
“Yes?”
“It’s going to be okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Thank you.” It’s the sincerest thank you that I’ve ever given anyone, and when I hang up, I actually do feel a slight bit better. Not much, but some. And maybe not better, but calmer. I feel, with Kitty here, we can do this together, and she’ll have answers that tell me how to help her brother.
I sit outside the entire time that I wait. I don’t care that my body goes numb or that the mosquitoes are feasting off me. I barely feel anything. I barely see anything. Nothing registers until the soft gleam of headlights in the distance, then the blinding sweep of them over the yard.
The minute Kitty kills the engine of a silver sedan, I run over to it. She steps out and sweeps me up in her arms like we’ve been friends for a lifetime, not like we just met yesterday because I was fake marrying her brother.
She’s the one who leads me over to the porch and helps me sit down on the edge of the step. There are lawn chairs out here, but neither of us takes them. I don’t know what to say or how to start. It’s not that I feel numb, but I think I might still be in shock from the crazy amount of worry.
“Is he covered in puke in there?” Kitty asks me, somehow keeping her tone light.
“No. I—he’s not.”
“Okay, well, that’s a big improvement.”
I shudder. I’m usually not squeamish with that kind of thing. I have a really strong stomach, but I was in pain watching Leon be sick. It looked so awful.
Kitty sighs. “I don’t know much about it. You might think that’s weird, but he won’t tell me. Not a thing.” I’m surprised, but honestly, with Leon, I can see it. It’s like he’s tried to erect walls between himself and the rest of the world, where the less they know about him, the better. They can assume whatever they want, and it’s almost like he’d prefer that. “The only reason I know is that it happened once at my house. There was no warning. Or maybe there was, and he thought he could power through it. He would never say. My brother is very private, and he doesn’t let anyone in. Not to that. That’s his own private hell, if I’m going to be cliché, but it’s the best way to describe it. The puking thing…he was at my place, and he just…there was an epic amount of puke. Sometimes projectile. It was so bad. I had no idea what was happening. I guess that’s what a bunch of concussions will do to you, though.”
“Concussions? Like from contact sports?”
Kitty winces, and the shadows on her face seem like real demons leaping out of the darkness. I can’t help but shudder. “You could say that. It was from contact, and that sick fuck probably thought it was sport.” Kitty swallows hard and won’t look at me. Instead, her face is turned to the beach and dock. The lake is easy, black under the full moon. “There’s no rest with that level of pain.” Another swallow. “The fact that you’re still here says a lot about your fortitude.”
“But this is my cabin. Well, my grandparents’ and then my parents’ after them, but I wouldn’t go anywhere.”