“Thank you.” I smile up at him. His blue eyes are watching me intently, and there’s a look there that I can’t quite decipher. “Yeah, dinner and we can talk.” I nod, letting him know I like the idea.
He leans in, and my breath hitches. Is he going to kiss me? Here? In front of everyone? I close my eyes, waiting for his lips to press mine, but instead, his hot breath brushes against my cheek. “Have fun, Tink,” he says. His voice is thick and husky, and the heat of him is gone far too soon. I open my eyes and watch him walk back into my house.
“Oh, before we start, I need to tinkle.” Mindy giggles at herself and moves past me inside the house.
I stand frozen. How could I have thought that he was going to kiss me? Did anyone notice that I was positioned and ready? My fucking eyes were closed and everything. Tonight. I’m going to tell him tonight. I can’t handle this anymore. To hell with the plan. To hell with needing time. It’s happening tonight.
I fiddle with the food to look busy until I get my raging hormones under control. I can only hope that no one is paying too close attention to me. I mean, how many times do I need to rearrange the three different dips?
“Hey,” Kristy calls out. “Are we ready?”
“Yes. Let me check on Mindy.” It’s just an excuse to buy myself some more time, but I guess it’s my duty as book club host that I check on Mindy. “Mindy?” I call out once I’m inside. No answer, so I head down the hall to knock on the bathroom door, but what I find stops me in my tracks. Sterling is standing just inside the spare bedroom with his phone out, and Mindy is telling him she can’t wait to hear from him. Her hand is on his arm, and she’s standing way too close to him. Sterling smiles at her, and that’s when his eyes find mine. Is that guilt I see on his face? I can’t be sure. The blood is rushing, and I can’t focus. What I do know is that I heard her tell him she can’t wait to hear from him. I know that she was touching him, and he was typing something into his phone.
“Tink?” Sterling calls out to me, and I realize I’ve been frozen, staring at the two of them.
“W-We’re ready to start.” I start backing away. I can’t stand here and watch the two of them together. How could he just give in to her? After all these years, he chooses her over me? No. Not over me. He’s my best friend. Nothing less, nothing more. I’m the one who needs to remember that. I can’t just change the rules as I go. I thought the extra touches and the heated looks meant something. I thought his drunken confession was his truth.
That’s what I get for thinking.
Sterling Kincaid is and will only ever be my best friend. I’m glad I found out now, before I embarrassed myself later tonight.
“Alyssa? Are you feeling all right?” Sterling asks. He takes a step toward me, but I take another step back.
“Fine. I’ll be outside.” I turn on my heel and rush back outside. The door is barely closed behind me when Blakely comes rushing over.
“Alyssa, have you seen my uncle Sterling? He didn’t leave me, did he?” Blakely asks, her hands on her hips. “That’s very naughty.”
“No, sweetie. He’s still here.” I don’t know how, but I manage to reply to her even with the wild train of emotions wreaking havoc in my chest.
“Good. He and I are having a special day.” I smile at her. At least, I hope it’s a smile. I can’t be sure with the hurricane of feelings brewing inside me.
“Right here, Blake.” Sterling stops to stand next to me. He places his hand on the small of my back. “You good?” I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t dare turn to look at him, fearing I might burst into tears. There’s a time for that, and it’s not while I have a house full of his family to witness it.
I nod. “Yep, just anxious to get started. Thanks for your help. Bye, Blake.” I wave awkwardly and rush down the steps and take a seat in the circle of chairs, ready to start my very first book club meeting with my heart crumbling in my chest.
He took her number.
She was touching him.
She can’t wait to hear from him.
I’m too late.
Mindy takes the last open chair, and a huge smile lights up her face. “Alyssa, what are Sterling’s favorite foods? He agreed to let me fix him dinner one night this week, and I need to make sure that I’m prepared.”
I try to swallow, but there’s a lump in my throat. I try again, but still no success. He’s having dinner with her. I want to curse Kennedy and the girls for putting this silly idea in my head as I knew better. I knew we were just friends. I changed the rules. Well, I blame my heart, but it’s still on me. I’m just glad I found out before I made a fool of myself. And what were they doing in my spare bedroom? Did he kiss her too? In my house?
“Not today, Mindy,” Kristy says, with annoyance in her tone. “We’re here for book club.”
“Yeah, but why talk about fictional men when I have a real live sex god to talk about?” Mindy asks.
I hear a choking sound and look around to see who it is, only to find all eyes on me. It was me making the sound. “Sorry.” I sit up straighter in my chair. “What book should be our first read?” I manage to ask the question without throwing up. I call that a success because my stomach is churning with hurt and regret. I’ve been holding on to what’s really in my heart for weeks now. Waiting for the right moment that never came, and now it’s too late.
I pushed these feelings down deep, but I’ve fallen off the Sterling Kincaid wagon, and I don’t know that I’ll ever recover from the pain that fills my chest, knowing that he chose Mindy.
The next couple of hours drag by and are pretty much a blur for me. I almost shout in celebration when Mindy stands to leave.
“Thanks for the invite. Never dreamed I’d come here and land me one of them Kincaid boys.” She giggles, and I want to slap her to make her stop.