The thought of Ella made my chest tighten. I could still see the pain in her eyes when I thrust the dagger into my chest. I’d hurt her, but I had to do it to save her and those she loved. I would’ve killed them all if I hadn’t done it.
“Where is she?” I asked.
Lailah’s smile fell. “Home, I believe. She wanted to be the one to help you cross over, but at the moment, she’s not allowed in the Hereafter.”
I peered around at the land and the shimmering lake down the hill. How did I deserve to be here after everything I’d done?
“How am I here?” I turned back to her, and she sighed.
“You sacrificed yourself for Ella and everyone in the Land of the Fae. That was a very selfless act. Not many people would’ve given up all the power you had.”
My heart still had a gaping hole; I could feel the emptiness. But beneath all that, there was still a connection to Ella. Only it felt one-sided.
“Why can’t Ella come here? I want to see her.”
Lailah stared at me and clasped her hands together. It was clear she knew the reason but wasn’t going to say anything.
“I’m not the one in control of this, Kai. Ella has a destiny she was born to fulfill. It’s why I was able to bring her mother back after she died from killing your father. Right now, Ella is too overcome with grief to think clearly. I’m hoping she finds the way back to her path.”
“What if she doesn’t?” I questioned. “What happens then?”
Lailah frowned. “Then I’m afraid you’ll never see her again.”
The emptiness grew in my heart. When I ended things, I did it knowing I’d never see Ella again. But now that there was a chance, I had to do everything possible to find a way to see her.
“I can help her, Lailah. Ella told me the people here in the Hereafter can go back and forth to the Land of the Fae. Merrick does it.”
Lailah nodded. “They can, butyoucan’t. Again, a higher power is at work here. Ella must do this on her own. You two have been connected ever since she was born. You have your role, and she has hers. You did what you were supposed to do, meaning your path has already been fulfilled. The balance has been set right on your end.”
I didn’t want to accept that, but I knew there was no other option.
Lailah placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Kai. This is the way it has to be.”
“What exactly am I supposed to do here? I’m an enemy to your kind.”
Lailah shook her head. “Not anymore. No one here is going to hate you or shun you because of the things you’ve done. We’ve all made mistakes and we pay for them. You paid the price for yours.” Her smile widened. “Besides, the people hereareyour kind. You’re a Winter fae, Kai. I know your mother and her family will want to see you.” She squeezed my shoulder. “I promise youwillbelong.”
“I heard fae promises had to be upheld no matter what.”
Lailah laughed. “It’s a good thing it’s the truth, then.”
I looked around again at Ella’s favorite place. The blue sky, the lake, and the rolling green hills were all serene. I could see why she chose to bring the fae over here. It wasn’t that long ago when my mother stood at this very spot.
“How do I find my mother?” I asked.
Lailah’s body started to glow a brilliant white. “All you have to do is picture her in your mind, and the magic of the Hereafter will take you to her.”
“Thank you,” I murmured. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
The light engulfed her, and before she disappeared, she whispered, “You’re welcome.”
Once she was gone, I stayed at the lake for a few more minutes to gather my thoughts. I hadn’t spoken to my mother in years. What was I going to say to her? Sorry didn’t seem like enough. But there was one thing I knew for sure: I needed her forgiveness.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and pictured my mother in my mind, at how her smile could light up any room. I thought of how beautiful her hazel eyes were, how there were specks of green and gold mixed in with the brown. She always smelled like winter snow mixed with the scent of jasmine.
A warm feeling spread across my skin, and everything around me shifted. When I opened my eyes, I wasn’t surprised to see a small cottage in the middle of a snowy forest landscape, surrounded by an abundance of winter jasmine. It was her favorite plant.
Before I could take the first step, the cottage door burst open and my mother appeared in the doorway. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she gasped. She looked younger and full of life … happy. I hadn’t seen her that way since I was a little boy. She bolted out of the cottage and ran toward me, throwing her arms around my neck.