I would in a heartbeat, but I can’t lose her. “We can search for a second or a third opinion.”
She bites her lip. “I can’t afford it. They… I was fired from the museum and”—she swallows hard—“I’m about to lose this house.”
The irony of this moment can’t go unnoticed. It’s like we’re back at that time when we could barely afford a package of ramen noodles for dinner and hoped and prayed the grants and scholarships would be enough to get us through the school year.
But thankfully, I’m not that person anymore. For the last three years, I haven’t had many expenses. My bank account has a healthy amount of cash that could keep us afloat and probably pay for her backed-up mortgage. If I’m lucky, I might be able to get a job and we could figure out how to pay her medical bills.
“Well, lucky for you, I’m here to help. Let’s go to your computer and figure out all the bills we need to pay. I might know a person or two who can help us find the best doctors to treat you.”
She sneers. “All I need is for you to sign the adoption papers and take Rumi. I’ll—”
“No, we’re in this together. You’re fighting for her and for your future.”
“We know how this ends, Siobhan. A dead mother, painful memories, and a doomed life. Please, do this for me.”
History repeats itself, doesn’t it? But that shouldn’t be the case. This isn’t what I want for Rumi or for my own child… if I’m expecting one.
“Can you tell me what’s happening with you?” Anya’s question doesn’t surprise me.
“The whole I attended a wedding and it was out of town is cute, but there’s more to it, isn’t there?” She tilts her head toward my phone. “I bet it has to do with the phone call you declined as soon as it rang.”
I stare at my phone as I figure out what to tell her.
“You can tell me who this asshole is,” she says, and I see the hint of a grin looming on her face. It’s the first time I’ve seen the old Anya since I arrived.
“Honestly, I’m not even sure why I’m upset.”
“We can figure it out while you tell me the story,” she offers.
And so I tell her everything about Luna Harbor, Iskander, my weird attachment to a family that’s not mine. Now, I can see that I want to belong to them. They’re everything I lacked while growing up. My mother was fantastic and loved all her foster children and me. Sadly, she never realized that taking in a child or two for a few months or a year affected me. I got attached and then they left.
She didn’t have any family, so it was just the two of us and whoever was in the house. Mitchell was the first kid who lasted until it was time for him to roll out of the system. He didn’t leave home until it was time for college.
Anya was almost the same, but we were so close in age that we just remained sisters.
All my life I wanted a big family with a dad, brothers, and sisters, and of course, my mom.
When the Cantús invaded Luna Harbor, I pretended to be part of their family. I just didn’t notice until now.
“I know better,” I say, holding my tears. “I knew I shouldn’t get attached, but—”
“You’ll never follow that rule. Ever.” She brushes my hair away. “You remind me so much of your mom. She had love for everyone and never limited it. You have a heart just as big.”
“It always gets me in trouble.”
She squeezes my hands. “One day, you’ll find the guy who’ll love you as much as you love him and will protect your heart fearlessly.”
I’m tempted to remind her he doesn’t exist. My own father abandoned me. But I can’t say anything. She’s onto the next thing. “So, you’re expecting Mr. Asshole’s child, huh?”
I shrug. “Maybe?”
“You might want to find out soon.”
“Yeah, I’ll buy a test or two tomorrow.” I don’t add that I won’t do it until I know about her prognosis and we figure out her future.
“Will you tell the dad?”
“Didn’t you listen to the story and how he reacted when he saw the tests?”