“It was easier being around you, knowing that you hated me.”
“Well, the joke is on you, since I never hated you.”
He reaches over, taking my hand in his. “Me, either.”
“Can I ask you something?” At his nod, I say, “You said divorce isn’t an option for you. Why is that?”
“It’s just how this world works.”
“That sounds like an excuse to me. Don’t you want to be happy?”
“I can be happy without divorcing Jasmine.”
His jaw is set, and I know I’m not going to get him to change his mind. Why would he? I was serious when I said this was the most we’d ever talked to each other. It would be childish to think that he would end his marriage with her just because we’ve shared a few good days together. My mood sours and I glance out the window. It doesn’t go unnoticed that he’s still holding my hand, though.
We ride in mostly comfortable silence until he says, “We still have an hour or so to go to our destination. Want to play a game?”
“Game? Like I-spy?”
He barks out a laugh. “What in the hell is I-spy?”
“You know, where I say, ‘I spy something green’ and then you have to guess what I’m looking at.”
“Not the kind of game I had in mind, little mouse.”
“I’m confused.”
He gives me a wicked smile and reaches down and lifts my feet, pulling me so that my legs are across his lap. My flats are dropped on the floor, and he rubs my foot.
“Do you remember that night on the phone? Where we told each other secrets?”
My face feels warm. “I remember.”
He rubs a spot deep in my foot that has me moaning. “Let’s play that.”
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. I’m sure you remember how that night ended.”
“I’m not going to pressure you, Ellie. I just want inside of your head.”
I hum. “Fine. I’ll go first. I hate playing games.”
He snorts. “I think you can do better than that.”
“My dad used to say that just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.”
“I will not point out that your father probably should have taken his own advice. Come on, Ellie, play with me.”
I don’t want to play with him because I’m scared. Not of him, but of what truths this game will bring to light.
“Ellie…”
I sigh. “There’s a part of me that thinks you’re only being nice to me because you feel bad about what happened to me.”
His eyes widen. “Ellie, that’s not what this is.”
“Maybe so. Maybe not. The point is that I don’t know what to think right now. We weren’t on good terms before the fundraiser, and then…ithappened. After, you were there like a knight in shining armor to save me, but I have to wonder why?” My eyes mist over. “And no matter what you say to me, I’m going to have that doubt in the back of my mind. If Al hadn’t… well, we probably wouldn’t be sitting in the back of an SUV together.”
He's silent, which means I’ve probably pissed him off. Carefully, he puts my feet down. Hot tears fill my eyes and I look out the window so he can’t see them. He reaches over, unbuckling me, and pulls me across the seat, so I’m sitting in his lap. We’re so close that I can smell the mint on his breath.