I could’ve said that it was temporary insanity, that I’d forgotten myself there for a moment. And while all of that was true — Ididforget myself for a moment — it wasn’t the whole truth.
The whole truth was much uglier. Much more of a betrayal than a mere two-minute kiss. And he needed to know that. He fucking deserved to know who I was.
What I was.
A snake. A betrayer.
A fucking piece of shit who broke the very first rule of friendship: coveting my best friend’s girl.
“So it should be obvious, isn’t it?” he continues, his eyes narrowed and dripping venom. “Why I’m drinking myself into oblivion and wanting to get my dick sucked by a blonde. You did this to me. Youreducedme to this. So you can take your babysitter routine and fuck off.”
It’s my turn to step forward then.
My turn to grit my teeth and narrow my eyes.
“Yeah,” I growl, low. “It was me. And don’t you dare forget that.”
“What?”
“I’m the one to blame.Me.” I thump a hand on my chest. “Which means you need to stop drinking yourself to death. You need to stop ruining your life, because I’ve already ruined it enough for you. Do you understand? You want me gone, I’ll be gone. You won’t see me again. But you need to stop punishing yourself for the things that I did. Before it’s too late. Before you lose everything that you’ve worked for. Before you do something that you might regret later.”
“Yeah? And what’s that?”
“You want to punish her too,” I say then.
He drags in a sharp breath, his eyes becoming slits, but I don’t let it deter me.
“At least, that’s what you wanted to do, back there. At the bar tonight. Punish her for what happened. I saw you. I fucking saw you eyeingherand then that chick on the dance floor.”
I drag a heavy breath of my own as I remember it.
I’ve known the guy almost all his life; I can read him like a book. And back there, he was gearing up to punish her too. And it was going to involve this random girl who hadn’t stopped staring at him ever since we’d arrived.
Very middle school-ish but effective.
If you want to hurt the girl who’s hurt you.
“Is that why you dragged me out of there?” he asks. “Because I was going topunishher.”
“I dragged you out of there because you’re not yourself,” I reply, “not anymore.”
“A little too worried about her,” he sneers, “aren’t you?”
I clench my teeth harder at his words, almost giving in and looking away from him.
But somehow I find enough strength to hold on.
To not rob him of this chance to take a stab at me.
“It’s okay, she’s a big girl. She could’ve handled it. And if not, I’m sure you would’ve been there. To lick her wounds and make it all better for her. She likes that, by the way.Licking. Not that I have to tell you, but still.” Then, scoffing, “Although it’s been two years now so fuck knows what else she likes.”
Rage, red hot and flaming, flows through my veins.
I’m used to it. I’m used to feeling angry and hateful and bitter but for the first time in the last two years, this rage is directed toward my best friend.
“You really need to stop,” I growl again, my words sounding low and rough.
“What, you don’t think she’s picked up new tricks along the way?”