And feel my heart slam against my ribs.
Slam and batter and bruise.
I feel my mouth tingling, my cheeks heating up.
Probably because it’s been two years since I said that name out loud.
Two years since I wrote it as well.
After that night, I knew nothing I did would ever turn the one bad thing in my life into anything remotely good. So I switched back to calling my diary Holly.
I promised myself that I would never ever say that name out loud.
Saying it now feels like a bad omen.
“Bandit,” Jupiter repeats.
“That’s actually a good one,” Callie says.
“Very artistic,” Wyn, who’s an artist herself, adds.
“Yup,” Tempest agrees as well. “I would’ve thought criminal or something. But Bandit is much better.”
Poe smiles. “Totally goes with his dark and mysterious persona. Plus how he’s robbing us and Echo here of a very important fact.”
“What’s that?” I frown.
“That your ex is staring at you. Which was how we got started in the first place.”
Holy shit.
Holyfuckingshit.
Yes.
Poe is right.
That’s exactly how we got here. Jupiter had pointed out that Lucas was staring at me. Which I misunderstood, but it’s sinking in.
This fact.
That Lucas, my ex-boyfriend, the boy I lost because of my mistakes, the boy I still love, is staring at me.
Oh God.
Oh God, oh God,oh God.
What does that mean?
Clutching my glass of orange juice even tighter, I ask in a halting voice, “Is that… Is that like a good staring or you know, bad staring?”
“Good,” Jupiter answers. “Definitely good.”
“Kind of like he can’t take his eyes off you staring,” Callie informs me with a smile.
“Told ya.” Poe grins.
Before giving me advice.