And they’re both being awesome right now as well.
Being so supportive and understanding after everything that they’ve already done for me. And I’m aware that I can’t let them do this, not anymore.
There’s areasonwhy I came up with this plan. A reason why I’m doing this. And yes, doing this might be stupid and reckless, maybe even dangerous for me, but I have to.
So as much as I’d like to stay in here, hidden away like a coward, I can’t.
Taking a deep breath, I come up to my feet and walk over to the door. I open it to reveal my two best friends peering at me with concerned gazes. To put them at ease, I smile and hope that it’s not as shaky as I feel it is.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I’m just being silly. I can do this.”
“Are you sure?” Jupiter asks, her emerald eyes clouded with worry.
“Yeah.”
“Like, absolutely?” Poe asks gently. “Again, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“I know.” I smile again but this one’s calmer; how can it not be when my friends are so amazing? “But I think it’s going to be fine.”
Maybe if I say it enough times, it’s going to be.
They both stare at me for a beat or two before Jupiter nods. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
Poe nods as well. “So remember, we’re going to be there the whole time.”
“Right,” I say with determination.
“Which means all of us will have your back.”
All of us, yeah.
Have I mentioned how awesome Poe is?
If I have, then it bears repeating.
Because not only has she supported me herself, she’s recruited other people to support me too: her own friends. Who have all adopted me and Jupiter into their fold like we’ve been friends forever.
Again, they all went to St. Mary’s — they just graduated on time — and we all had the same classes over the years, so I’ve known them from afar. But it’s only recently, ever since summer school started and Poe became my and Jupiter’s friend, that we started to get closer. And when I told Poe of my plan, she gathered everyone to lend me all the support that I could want.
“Yes,” I say.
“And we can leave any time you want us to,” Jupiter chimes in.
“Got it.”
“So there’s nothing to worry about,” Poe concludes. “If he says something or, you know, does something, we’ll be there for you.”
I want to respond to Poe but I find that I can’t.
Not because I’m suddenly afraid again — I mean, the nerves are still there but I’ve mostly got a handle on it — but because I feel a tremble go through my body.
I feel my belly clench and my toes curl.
If he says something…
I wonder what he will say. When he sees me for the first time in two years.
I wonder what he’ll sound like.