“I’m just,” I take a deep but shaky breath, “very afraid.”
I hear her sigh as well. But I can sense that it’s in solidarity rather than in exasperation. “I know. And it’s not crazy to feel that way after everything that you’ve been through. So if you want to back out, we totally can. It’s up to you. Whatever you decide, we’ll stand behind it.”
“We absolutely will.”
This is a second voice.
And it belongs to my second best friend, Poe.
It’s slightly crazy that I’m calling her my best friend when we’ve only just met. I mean, we go to the same school and have had all the same classes for the past two years. But it’s only recently that we started interacting more and realized that we totally missed out on being friends before.
In fact, it’s her bathroom that I’ve shut myself in.
It’s her house.
Ever since I decided to do this, Jupiter and Poe both have stood behind me and supported me wholeheartedly. The fact that we’re here, at Poe’s house, when we aren’t allowed to go anywhere off campus is testament to that support.
It sounds archaic, doesn’t it?
That we aren’tallowedto go anywhere off campus.
But it’s our reality, given our school.
Since it’s a reform school and the girls who go there are all troublemakers, the main goal of St. Mary’s is restoration. So we can rejoin society as responsible citizens, and in order to accomplish that, they have ironclad and rigid rules.
Ranging from the obvious ones such as showing up to classes on time, never missing a homework deadline, and getting good grades, to less apparent ones like you can only watch TV for a certain amount of time in a day; or that every night they switch off the lights at 9:30; or you can only go off campus if you have a signed permission slip, and so on.
Oh, and if you misbehave or if your grades fall below the set minimum, you get punished.
By losing privileges.
TV privileges, going out privileges, telephone privileges.
Alternatively, if you do well in classes and follow all the rules, your privileges are increased.
All of this, however, only applies during regular school months.
During summer school, the rules are even stricter.
Because having to go to summer school — when you’re supposed to be off enjoying summer vacation — in itself is a major red flag. It means you probably didn’t follow enough rules and/or get good enough grades during the regular school months.
It’s summer now.
Meaning we’re in summer school.
What’s even worse is that we’re all seniors.
Or ratherstillseniors.
We were supposed to graduate last month but… didn’t.
Couldn’t.
Lack of grades, lack of good behavior. Lack of common sense.
Which means I shouldn’t be here, in Poe’s bathroom, at Poe’s big mansion-like house. None of us should be. But Poe has connections and she used them to get us out of St. Mary’s for the weekend.
Because she’s awesome that way, she got Jupiter out too.