I don’t remember what I did all day so I’m going to have to take her word for it.
Even so, I reassure her. “I’m okay.”
Now, if only my voice would stop catching in my throat. If only my chest would stop hurting.
If only. If only. If only.
“No, you’re not.”
“Jupiter —”
“You miss him.”
There I go again, wanting to cry. Wanting to bawl and cave under this pressure.
And this time, it’s harder to hold back my tears.
This time, it’s harder to remind myself that it’s a happy day.
“You do, don’t you?” she asks in a gentle voice.
I swallow thickly. “I…”
“And it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet.”
No, it hasn’t been.
It’s only been eighteen hours and thirteen minutes since… since everything.
Since that gray motel room. Those gray sheets.
That messy room.
That now seems… cozy. Homey even.
In a way that nothing has felt in the past two years. Or six years even.
Not even my own pink bedroom.
“Listen.” Jupiter leans toward me. “It’s okay if you miss him. It’s okay if you don’t want to do this anymore. If you’ve changed your mind after what happened between you two last night. It’sokay, Echo.”
“I… It’s n-not. It’s… I-I have to do this. I…”
“Why?”
“Because…” I wring my hands in my lap, barely able to breathe now. “BecauseLucas is depending on me. He’s… His life. His career. Everything that he’s worked for. It’s all hanging in balance. Because ofme. Because I betrayed him. And so it’s up to me, don’t you see? It’s up to me to fix it. Plus everything is falling apart for him right now with his dad being sick. I can’t let him down. I can’t…”
Not to mention,myparents.
This is my chance to win back their trust. To redeem myself in their eyes.
To go back to being their good girl.
“Yeah, see, I thought you’d say something else,” she says.
“What?”
“I thought you’d say that you love him.”