As I look into his eyes, shocked, disbelieving, so confused. “I don’t… I don’t understand this.”
Things flicker in his eyes, great big waves of emotions. “Neither do I.”
“Sincewhen?”
“That first night.”
The first…
“The… The night of the f-firecrackers?”
“Yeah.”
I barely remember that night.
I barely remember anything except one thing.
Oneblaringthing.
“But that was…” I lick my rapidly drying lips. “That wasbeforeLucas.”
“I know.”
“You l-liked me before Lucas.”
“I did.”
I take a few moments to gather myself. I would’ve liked more though. I would’ve liked hours and days and probably weeks to pull myself together.
But I don’t have that kind of time.
I want to know.
I want to knoweverything.
“If you liked me before… Lucas, then why didn’t you… Y-you never said anything. You never…” And then I just go back to repeating everything because it doesn’t make sense to me. “You were so horrible to me. I thought you hated me. I thought you hated me with him. I thought…”
Oh God, he didn’t.
He didn’t hate me with his best friend. Or rather not for the reasons I always thought.
I think he hated me with him because he… had a thing for me.
Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
He can see it.
On my face.
That I’m finally getting it. I’m finallycomprehendingwhat he’s telling me.
“I never said anything,” he says, his eyes grave, his features grave as well like this is the most important thing in his life, the most important truth. “Because he liked you too. Because he was my best friend. I never said anything, treated you like shit, because I wanted you to choose him.”
“C-choose him.”