His jaw tics some more. “Yes.” Then, “And no.”
“What does that —”
“Not every fight’s fixed. This one was. Something that I was looking forward to for fucking days.”
“Oh God, why?”
“Because it means more money.”
“And?”
“Whatand?”
“I feel like there’s an ‘and’ in there.”
He’s getting annoyed by my questions now. I can tell.
He’s reaching his limit.
But he does reply, “And I deserve it. Getting beaten up.”
And then I just blink, my lips parted but barely breathing.
Because he thinks getting pummeled almost to death is what he should get for what he did.
For kissing me. For betraying Lucas. For having me sent to St. Mary’s.
He deserves it for the sins that he’s committed for two years, two months and however many days ago that I can’t remember. And the reasonhedoes is because he burns with it every second of every day.
If he was like me and kept a diary, I bet he’d be marking days in it.
Days and days of guilt and fire and war inside of him.
And so I have to tell him now.
I have to tell him that I choose him. That I willnever evergive up on him.
That I will not let him suffer like this.
“You done?” he asks, his eyes intent and unforgivable.
I let my body loose, my fingers grasping his neck like an anchor, ready for him. “Yes.”
“You gonna answer my questions now?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Good.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
“Who told you I was here?”
“Callie’s husband.”
“Reed?”
“Yes.” I nod and launch into the whole explanation. “Callie’s my friend. Well, she’s recently become my friend. And I asked Poe, my other friend — who’s also recently become my friend — for her help to find you. And that she should ask Callie to ask Reed about where you —”