“This is how you make amends. You let him go and you come back to me. I’m willing to forget that kiss, Echo. I’m willing to forget you said no to me. In fact, I’m willing to forget how screwed up our relationship was. How you strung me along. And you did that, didn’t you? You called yourself a bad girlfriend.”
“Yes.”
“So this is how you become good. This is how you fix everything that you’ve done.”
Seconds go by when all I can do is hug my waist, dig my nails into my flesh and keep my eyes pinned on the cracked floor of my dorm room, with the phone clutched to my ear.
I think my brain thinks that if I don’t move or make a sound, nothing bad will happen.
The ground won’t shift and the world won’t fall apart.
Because that’s what it feels like.
That the world is falling apart.
“But he saved you,” I whisper as a tear skates down my cheek. “He saved you on that playground. All those years ago. He’s a good friend, Lucas. Don’t do this to him. Please.”
As soft as my words were, his are just as loud and scoffing. “Yeah, he loves to tell that story, doesn’t he? How hesavedme.” Then, “Listen, you don’t need to feel so bad about him. He doesn’t care about you, despite what you think. Despite whatever he’s shown you. It’s all a lie. Do you remember the Halloween party? Where he got me so drunk with all those girls on me.”
I do remember it.
I remember being so enraged because of it. I remember hating Reign for it.
But now that I think about it, after everything that I’ve seen and after everything that he’s done, I can’t believe it.
I can’t believe that Reign might have done something like that.
But then if Reign hadn’t, why would Lucas say that he did?
Why would Lucas… lie?
That doesn’t make sense. That…
“And do you remember how he never wanted us to be together? That’s the guy you kissed and that’s the guy you’re defending. He’s incapable of thinking about anyone other than himself. So you think about that and give me a call when you’re ready.”
* * *
“Hey, I need to talk to you both,” I say to Jupiter and Poe as soon as I find them.
It’s lunch break and they’re sitting outside in the courtyard, on one of those concrete benches. In fact, the rest of the thin population of St. Mary’s is here as well, scattered around the space. It’s summer and the sun is out, and this is the only way we can soak some up, given we’re trapped in this concrete prison of a reform school.
Jupiter throws a pencil at me when I sit down. “There you are.”
“Yeah, I –”
“Do you want to get out of here or not?” she asks sternly.
Holding onto her floppy purple hat, Poe leans forward. “Or do you want to stay at St. Mary’s for the rest of your life?”
I shake my head. “Listen, I —”
“No, you listen,” Jupiter says angrily. “We have finals.”
Poe brandishes a textbook in my face. “We need to study so we can get our lives back.”
Right.
Finals next week.